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Alexander Girard's definitions

you know who

The Dark Lord, y'know, the one who doesen't have a kickass mace and a ring fetish...
"You know, I see the oppurtunity for a union here..." - Lord Voldemort (AKA "You Know Who", or "The Dark Lord") to Sauron (AKA "The Dark Lord") and Darth Vader (AKA "The Dark Lord")
by Alexander Girard April 8, 2006
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Dark Lord

There's approximately 745.3 Dark Lords in literature and pop-culture. I'll give you a run down of three (with a special guest at the end,) in order of creation.

Lord Sauron.
AKA: The Lord of the Rings, The Enemy, The Great Eye, The Dark Lord.
Traits: Bizarre ring fetish, kickass Mace of Pwnage, kickass minions of pwnosity.

Darth Vader
AKA: Anakin Skywalker, Lord Vader, The Dark Lord, James Earl Jones.
Traits: Lightsaber. Hell, everyone loves lightsabers... THE FORCE! Quotability to the max.

Lord Voldemort
AKA: You Know Who, The Dark Lord, He Who Must Not Be Named, Tom Riddle, Ralph Fiennes.
Traits: Bitchin' snake familiar, Near immortality due to splitting his soul, uh... cool eyes?

George W. Bush
AKA: Dubbyuh, Bushy, Bushy junior.
Traits: Horrible public speaking skills, inheriting the uncanny ability from his father to bring war to America, funny, sticky-outty ears.
I am the founder of the Dark Lord's union, PH34R MY 1337 H4xx0RZ $K!LLZ
by Alexander Girard January 11, 2006
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lycanthrope

1. In folklore, any human that can, while being touched by the light of the full moon, can turn into an animal, or animal/human hybrid. They can be evil, like werewolves, or good, like werebears.

The original werewolf legend was that you sold your soul to Satan, and he gave you a wolf-fur belt or cape, that when worn, would turn you into a wolf. NOT a hybrid. In folklore, running into a rye field would save you from a werewolf, because rye is a holy grain eaten by monks. Killed by silver. Supposed identifying marks include unibrows, index-finger as long as the middle finger, pointed nails, and stale breath.

2. A much better monster than vampires, which are stupid overrated goth pussies. See pussy. A werewolf is stronger, faster, more resilient than a vampire, and a hell of a lot cooler.
The dude's a lycanthrope, seriously. Lookit how he always disappears every full moon.
by Alexander Girard April 9, 2006
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Dance Dance Revolution

An arcade game for Wapanese people with NO taste in music, and can't dance. Stomping on buttons implanted in a slab of metal and plastic is NOT dancing. The closest thing it resembles are the mind-numbingly awful games at Chucky-Cheese.

Think of a TV mounted to a carriage, superimposed infront of a platform. Think of four buttons on said platform, each in one of the cardinal directions. You put a token in said device. Suddenly, brightly flashing arrows appear on said screen. You feverishly try to stomp on the buttons corresponding to said flashing arrows, and get a sense of satsifaction as your anime-fattened ass jiggles to the Jap music.

Other people look on, wondering things like; "Is that person having a seizure?" or, "Wow, that's the palst, ugliest, and most zit-covered child throwing a temper-tantrum I've ever seen!"

And now, several hundred people are going to give this definition thumbs down, with thoughts behind said downward-facing digits like: "LI3K OMG KAWAII DAIKERWESU WAI HE HASN'T EVER PLAYED IT MOMO" or "He only hates it because he sucks at it."

I hate it, and I suck at it. I've tried it, and I derive my OPINION (yes, get it through your apparently titanium-coated skulls,) from my experience with the game. Stomping on buttons does not constitute dancing. Any music from Japan sucks the prostate gland of a Capuccin Monkey.

Now, if you haven't tried the game, feel free to do so. Though this matters little, you automatically recieve my condolences for having to be subjected to its horror.

And to any fans of the game...

Just because it's from Japan, doesen't mean it's good.

If you want to dance, go to a choreographer.

USE DEODERANT AFTER WASTING $20 ON IT! DON'T STINK UP MY ARCADES!

Now if you'll excuse me, I have some WoW to attend to. A REAL game.
by Alexander Girard October 10, 2005
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herps

Another word for reptiles or amphibians, so you don't have to say that large phrase. Listen, which is easier?

"Man, let's go to florida, there's a ton of reptiles and amphibians down there."

"Man, let's go to florida, there's a ton of herps down there."

MUCH easier. Although some illiterates and dyslexics think that "herps" is another word for "herpes", it isn't. Singularly, herp. Derived from the greek word that means "things that crawl."
"Yeah, he keeps herps."

"Herps make kickass pets."
by Alexander Girard September 20, 2005
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dog

1. Any four-legged, pack hunting, carnivorous animal of the genus Canis. Yes, I consider a wolf to be a dog, because the common house Dog, Canis Familiaris or Canis Domesticus is a bred-down version of Canis Lupus, the modern wolf. Makes a good pet, as they are intelligent, curious, and as I have earlier stated, a pack animal, and therefore easily suited to life with a family of many people, or fewer.

2. What you call a close buddy.
1. Peta can suck my nuts, dogs, and every other pet, usually (90% of the time,) have a better life in captivity than in the wild, as a matter of fact, if it weren't for human captivity, we wouldn't have Canis Familiaris as we know it today! LICK MY ASSHOLE, PETA!

2. Hey dog, you got any homwork tonight?
by Alexander Girard October 9, 2005
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Fan Fiction

A blemish on the otherwise shiny, brassy name of creative writing.
"Oh lord, she wrote an Inu-Crappa self-insert fan fiction..."
by Alexander Girard October 9, 2005
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