11 definitions by Alexander Girard

A blemish on the otherwise shiny, brassy name of creative writing.
"Oh lord, she wrote an Inu-Crappa self-insert fan fiction..."
by Alexander Girard September 22, 2005
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-The neutral side-

A series of books. Currently 6 books, with the newest being titled: "Harry Potter & the Half-Blood Prince." The premise is that wizards and witches (and mythical creatures) exist, but are hidden from normal society. Centres around the boy for which the series is named, and his enterprises at a wizarding school.

-The Good Side-

This series is highly inventive, and just what the fantasy genre has needed to dig itself out of a slight rut it's been in for a decade or so. The author, (J.K. Rowling,) has been able to let Harry grow with his readers, with the first book being whimsical and light-hearted, and each succeeding novel become darker and darker, or more mature, whatever one's particular viewpoint is. Another talent that Rowling posesses is the ability to still keep an air of innocence and that same whimsy of the 1st book, with the darker, outer layer of her more recent works.

-The Bad side-

As with many series, there is one group who can make a mockery of said series. One group who always tarnishes the goodstanding and innocence of said series. In this case, this group may be divided into two distinct, but similar sub-species.

The Fangirl. - This is the keening, 15-year-old who partners the two amle protagnoists into gay love-affairs. This wouldn't be so bad, not bad at all, (in my opinion, I've got nothing against homosexuals,) if these pairings weren't of them pouding eachother's asses. The ages of these two people are 16. Or 15, as the new book (as of this post's publishing,) has been out for less than two weeks. They also write the fan-fiction where they themselves for some reason or another are a student at the Wizardry academy, and are somehow romantically entwined with the main character. Through these people, I have lost all faith in mankind.

The wapanese fangirl - Ah, this one. Perhaps worse than the former, this sub-species of fan-girl uses all the homoerotic pairings of their more common cousin, but use the annoying catch-phrases of "yaoi" and "kawaii". As you're more than likely sure, this sub-species jointly connects the wapanese and the fangirls, as obviously stated in the aboe heading. Not only do these ones write fan-fictions, but they also indulge in the homoeroticism of said fiction in comic or manga style. Someone's got a little trouble telling fantasy from reality...

-My Opinion-

Feel free to skip over this part.

No matter how much the "Bad Side" makes it sound, I'm not some christian, white-bread soccer mom out to get gays and people who like anime. I'm just some guy who got fed up..

Anyway. What do I think of the series? If you liked the Lord of The Rings, go for it. The two are distinct, but they'll warm your heart in the same way. Although, again, this is personal opinion, I enjoyed LOTR better than I have enjoyed reading thsi series, but it was a close match.
"Hey, the new Harry Potter's out. I should go get a copy...but then there's the lines...eh, I'll just wait a few days for it to die down."
by Alexander Girard July 16, 2005
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An arcade game for Wapanese people with NO taste in music, and can't dance. Stomping on buttons implanted in a slab of metal and plastic is NOT dancing. The closest thing it resembles are the mind-numbingly awful games at Chucky-Cheese.

Think of a TV mounted to a carriage, superimposed infront of a platform. Think of four buttons on said platform, each in one of the cardinal directions. You put a token in said device. Suddenly, brightly flashing arrows appear on said screen. You feverishly try to stomp on the buttons corresponding to said flashing arrows, and get a sense of satsifaction as your anime-fattened ass jiggles to the Jap music.

Other people look on, wondering things like; "Is that person having a seizure?" or, "Wow, that's the palst, ugliest, and most zit-covered child throwing a temper-tantrum I've ever seen!"

And now, several hundred people are going to give this definition thumbs down, with thoughts behind said downward-facing digits like: "LI3K OMG KAWAII DAIKERWESU WAI HE HASN'T EVER PLAYED IT MOMO" or "He only hates it because he sucks at it."

I hate it, and I suck at it. I've tried it, and I derive my OPINION (yes, get it through your apparently titanium-coated skulls,) from my experience with the game. Stomping on buttons does not constitute dancing. Any music from Japan sucks the prostate gland of a Capuccin Monkey.

Now, if you haven't tried the game, feel free to do so. Though this matters little, you automatically recieve my condolences for having to be subjected to its horror.

And to any fans of the game...

Just because it's from Japan, doesen't mean it's good.

If you want to dance, go to a choreographer.


Now if you'll excuse me, I have some WoW to attend to. A REAL game.
"Dance Dance Revolution sucks."
by Alexander Girard October 5, 2005
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1. In folklore, any human that can, while being touched by the light of the full moon, can turn into an animal, or animal/human hybrid. They can be evil, like werewolves, or good, like werebears.

The original werewolf legend was that you sold your soul to Satan, and he gave you a wolf-fur belt or cape, that when worn, would turn you into a wolf. NOT a hybrid. In folklore, running into a rye field would save you from a werewolf, because rye is a holy grain eaten by monks. Killed by silver. Supposed identifying marks include unibrows, index-finger as long as the middle finger, pointed nails, and stale breath.

2. A much better monster than vampires, which are stupid overrated goth pussies. See pussy. A werewolf is stronger, faster, more resilient than a vampire, and a hell of a lot cooler.
The dude's a lycanthrope, seriously. Lookit how he always disappears every full moon.
by Alexander Girard February 5, 2006
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The Dark Lord, y'know, the one who doesen't have a kickass mace and a ring fetish...

"You know, I see the oppurtunity for a union here..." - Lord Voldemort (AKA "You Know Who", or "The Dark Lord") to Sauron (AKA "The Dark Lord") and Darth Vader (AKA "The Dark Lord")
by Alexander Girard December 31, 2005
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Here, this is from a Canadian. This is what poutine is.

Take a potatoe. Cut it into thing rods. Deep-fry it. Pour hot turkey gravy, (Yes, turkey, Quebec, the province next to mine, is unsuitable for bovine farming, although there are some pockets here and there,) on the deep-fried potatoe-sticks (fries). Add some white cheddar cheese curds, let the curds melt, or pop a few in your mouth. Eat with a fork.

There you go.

You Americans don't know what you're missing.
"My caf serves poutine."
by Alexander Girard September 24, 2005
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A movie made soley for the wapanese, and responsible for the criminal overhyping of the katana.

But still a damn good movie. Uma Thurman kills people. Lots of people.
"I watched Kill Bill, and I ALMOST started to like katanas. Almost."
by Alexander Girard January 7, 2007
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