Ae5Ea8's definitions

brotes mcgroats

your friends. The term comes from "bro" and "mcgroats." mcgroats is a word that instantly makes anything 100 times cooler.

Husband: I'll be at the bachelor party from 9 until 11. See you soon, honey.
Wife: I don't believe a word of it. I know that you and your brotes mcgroats are doing to be doing some stupid s**t and staying out all night.

by Ae5Ea8 August 18, 2015

Fenway Park

A place in a man's mind completely devoid of sexual connotation. The image of this place is used to talk oneself down from an erection. When a man is in a public place and threatened with the onset of an erection, a Code Red is sounded in his mind. There has to be — ever at the ready — a place where his mind goes to that has nothing at all to do with sex. The place has to be familiar and engaging. The attributes of the scene can be as various as each man is unique. The most successful scenes are those so deeply non-sexual that it is nearly certain that no sexual associations can be made. It takes focus, but with some self-control, a man can usually get his shit together before his arousal becomes evident to the outside world.

Hitting a home run over the Green Monster: it's my Fenway Park. The crack of the bat, the cheer of the crowd, the bright lights, perfectly manicured grass...

by Ae5Ea8 April 4, 2015

Porta-Pottyama

trying to hold your breath for the duration of your use of the Porta-Potty due to the smell

Pranayama is breath control

The Stench of the Porta-Potty was vile: I could either become one with the Stench, as Yoda had taught me, or hold my breath. I chose the latter.

My Porta-Pottyama failed me, though, as I finally had to suck in a huge breath -- my sensory sensations then feasted on the filth of fermenting human waste.

by Ae5Ea8 April 3, 2017

beard-polar depression

Combination of "beard" and "bi-polar depression," describing the loss, sadness, and vicarious nakedness one feels when a male acquaintance suddenly shaves off his beard.

Joe was rocking the beard until today. I'm so blue...must be beard-polar depression.

by Ae5Ea8 February 24, 2015

Obsessive Taping Disorder

Using way more packing tape than necessary when mailing back a return purchase. You know it's overkill but you just can't help yourself.

I can't seem to stop my Obsessive Taping Disorder. I need to talk to someone about it.

by Ae5Ea8 June 2, 2015

mayonnaisia

Feeling lost in Costco or another big box store when you can't find what you're looking for because they've changed up the location of the products on the shelves.

There is currently no FDA-approved drug to treat mayonnaisia, but intravenous Cheez Whiz is currently in clinical trials.

Daggumit. Where's the 50 gallon drum of mayonnaise?
mayonnaisia

by Ae5Ea8 March 10, 2017

Jackassery Degree (J.D.)

A degree in jackassery required to become a lawyer.

On your application for this attorney position please provide a copy of your Jackassery Degree (J.D.).

by Ae5Ea8 November 23, 2016