Ae5Ea8's definitions

Porta-Pottyama

trying to hold your breath for the duration of your use of the Porta-Potty due to the smell

Pranayama is breath control

The Stench of the Porta-Potty was vile: I could either become one with the Stench, as Yoda had taught me, or hold my breath. I chose the latter.

My Porta-Pottyama failed me, though, as I finally had to suck in a huge breath -- my sensory sensations then feasted on the filth of fermenting human waste.

by Ae5Ea8 April 3, 2017

insecuribeep

Combination of "insecurity" and the "beep" of your car horn. An "insecuribeep" occurs when you are walking away from your car and you get that sudden feeling of insecurity due to the uncertainty as to whether or not you locked your car doors. So you press the lock button on your infrared key ring three times fast, which forces your car to make the more audible car horn "beep," thus setting your mind at ease.

Freudian theory of psychoanalysis suggests that a feeling of insecuribeep comes from the sadness associated with a low crunchberry to Cap'n crunch ratio in your cereal bowl.

by Ae5Ea8 February 9, 2015

prisoner's dilemma

The uncomfortable but ultimate acceptance of another dude farting at a the urinal while you're in the bathroom. You can't claim that it's an inappropriate place to fart, so you just gotta deal with it.

I was faced with the prisoner's dilemma right before my big interview at the company's headquarters.

by Ae5Ea8 May 19, 2016

five second rule

when a male wakes up in the middle of the night and pees in the dark using the sound of splashing water or the side of the bowl as a guide

If you're missing the bowl by less than five seconds, you're OK and don't have to worry about cleaning up after yourself

don't confuse the five second rule with other such rules regarding the safety of food

by Ae5Ea8 October 2, 2016

the Fred zone

a combination of "friend zone" and "red zone." This is when you are close to going all the way with a woman (i.e., you're close to scoring a touchdown as in being in the "red zone") but she denies you by putting you in the "friend zone."

So have you guys made the beast with two backs yet?

No, bro, I got put in the Fred zone. Our relationship is over.

by Ae5Ea8 February 7, 2015

layoff beard

"Layoff beard" derives from "playoff beard." A layoff beard is a worn by an unemployed person until he gets a job.

The word's meaning can also be extended to include a law student who decides not to shave until he passes the bar exam.

Your layoff beard is quite fierce, broseph. And I applaud the pajamas-in-public look, too. It's quite...unique.

by Ae5Ea8 February 9, 2015

Fenway Park

A place in a man's mind completely devoid of sexual connotation. The image of this place is used to talk oneself down from an erection. When a man is in a public place and threatened with the onset of an erection, a Code Red is sounded in his mind. There has to be — ever at the ready — a place where his mind goes to that has nothing at all to do with sex. The place has to be familiar and engaging. The attributes of the scene can be as various as each man is unique. The most successful scenes are those so deeply non-sexual that it is nearly certain that no sexual associations can be made. It takes focus, but with some self-control, a man can usually get his shit together before his arousal becomes evident to the outside world.

Hitting a home run over the Green Monster: it's my Fenway Park. The crack of the bat, the cheer of the crowd, the bright lights, perfectly manicured grass...

by Ae5Ea8 April 4, 2015