AKACroatalin's definitions

Traffic Calming Measure

This is something that happens in supermarkets; a two-seater with a trolley is wandering slowly and aimlessly down the aisles with a queue of other customers behind them. They seem apathetic and prepared to tolerate the slow progress, none of them apparently capable of saying “Excuse me” or “Can I just get by” or even “Get out of the way you fat, useless lump of shit!”
See also red rover, Traffic Jam, Road Block.

I went to the supermarket to pick up some food but didn’t bother, the place was full of traffic calming measures.

by AKACroatalin August 13, 2016

Dooberry

A mild slang name for a penis, supposedly less offensive that cock, prick, or dick, it does not have the fecal connotations of dingleberry but is used to describe the penis in much the same circumstances by much the same people. In addition it can also be used as a mildly disparaging term for a person who has exasperated you by doing something atypically stupid.

"I had to rush like hell to get here on time. I was halfway here when I remembered I'd left the contract in my desk at home and had to go back for them, I felt like a right dooberry."

by AKACroatalin March 16, 2015

Farty-breath

An expression used to describe a person with halitosis or bad breath. This can range from someone with mildly unpleasant bad breath because they’ve been up all night and haven’t had a chance to brush their teeth to someone with a real problem. You know the sort of person I mean, their teeth look like the bones of animal carcases or the weathered moss covered tombstones in a neglected graveyard; and their breath, oh lord their breath, it smells like a cross between rotting fish and the decomposing faecal emissions of a diseased pig and should be declared a biohazard.

“Oh shit! It’s farty-breath! I wish I had a gasmask.”

by AKACroatalin August 1, 2015

BAB

Acronym, probably originating in the USA standing for Born Again Biker. This refers to a person, usually male in their forties or fifties, who goes through some sort of mid-life crisis and buys themselves a huge and expensive motorcycle, together with shedloads of gear and takes to the road in an attempt to recapture their lost youth. This is invariably a failure and many of them get over it in twelve to eighteen months, some of them, however, become traffic accident statistics.

Jimmy’s gone and bought himself a Ducati! He’s become a real BAB!

by AKACroatalin March 14, 2019

Nomophobe

A nomophobe is a person suffering from nomophobia. You know the people I mean, the ones with a mobile phone stuck to their ear. If they aren’t talking on it they’re fiddling with it in some bizarre form of electronic masturbation. If they stop for more than five seconds, a strange glazed look comes over them, starting at their eyes but gradually taking over their whole face until they either start chattering rubbish to somebody or fiddling with the thing like Nero on steroids. When you next see one take a really good look as they are a dying species, too busy playing with their phones to breed.

Nomophobe, a sad act constantly pissing about with a mobile phone.

by AKACroatalin April 28, 2015

Decency

Decency is a noun and can have two distinct meanings:
1. Behaviour that conforms to accepted standards of morality or respectability.
2. Things required for a reasonable standard of life.

1. One example of decency is not calling people with a learning disability rug munchers.
2. In one sense, you do need money for decency.

by AKACroatalin February 26, 2017

Untoward

Untoward has a number of different meanings, three of the commonest uses are as follows:-

1 Unexpected and inconvenient;
2 Inappropriate, improper or unseemly;
3 Unfavourable or adverse;

1 The picnic was interrupted by an untoward shower of rain;
2 Malcolm’s untoward advances were rewarded with a kick in the nuts;
3 Some prescription drugs have untoward side effects;

by AKACroatalin October 24, 2016