Definitions by !JayAm!
January Christmas
Dad is very sorry but his paycheck for the last job won’t come in until January so we won’t have gifts on Dec. 25. They’ll be just a few weeks late I promise.
<Late December>
8yo Me: Dad, you’re so late. I missed you.
Best dad ever: I missed you too. Just trying to get this job done so I’ve been working late.
Me: but you won’t have to work Christmas like last year will ya?
BDE: No, son, I’ll be here. But since I didn’t finish the job I won’t get paid before Xmas. But I’ll get paid in a few weeks and we’ll celebrate then. Well just have a January Christmas. Ok?
Me: that’s fine dad. I understand.
8yo Me: Dad, you’re so late. I missed you.
Best dad ever: I missed you too. Just trying to get this job done so I’ve been working late.
Me: but you won’t have to work Christmas like last year will ya?
BDE: No, son, I’ll be here. But since I didn’t finish the job I won’t get paid before Xmas. But I’ll get paid in a few weeks and we’ll celebrate then. Well just have a January Christmas. Ok?
Me: that’s fine dad. I understand.
January Christmas by !JayAm! December 13, 2021
high & dry
Vance: You want anything? There's beers in the fridge.
Joy: No thanks. I'm kinda high & dry these days.
Vance: Oh, well, there's a pipe in that drawer.
Joy: Cool.
Joy: No thanks. I'm kinda high & dry these days.
Vance: Oh, well, there's a pipe in that drawer.
Joy: Cool.
high & dry by !JayAm! February 28, 2021
alzies
Mom (Pointing at her purse): Can you please hand me my... uhh...my, uhh.....
Son and Daughter simultaneously: Alzies!
Son and Daughter simultaneously: Alzies!
stomach filler
Ethan: They say carrots are a bad stomach filler because they are surprisingly high in sugar.
Hawke: What's a "stomach filler"?
Ethan: Look it up on Urban Dictionary, you goddamn retard!
Hawke: What's a "stomach filler"?
Ethan: Look it up on Urban Dictionary, you goddamn retard!
stomach filler by !JayAm! December 17, 2020
Cringe Watch
Watching a show you used to really like, but now you're on the last few seasons that are so bad it's become a chore to watch them, so you watch them all in one day to get it over with.
Monty: There's only 6 more episodes of Dexter left. We could finish the show tomorrow night.
Waylon: But the show's gotten so bad. Can't we just stop watching. We could go out and have fun instead of Cringe Watching some show we're both over.
Monty: No......I want to know how it ends.
Waylon: <Sigh> OK, at least it'll be over with.
Waylon: But the show's gotten so bad. Can't we just stop watching. We could go out and have fun instead of Cringe Watching some show we're both over.
Monty: No......I want to know how it ends.
Waylon: <Sigh> OK, at least it'll be over with.
Cringe Watch by !JayAm! July 25, 2020
cunt-cunt
Gregory: You comin' out to the bar, tonight, man?
Shmegory: Can't. Rosa's having me work this Saturday.
G: You take too much from that cunt. I mean it.
S: Don't call her that.
G: Why not? If she's not a cunt, I don't know who is.
S: No, I mean, she's worse than a cunt, she's a, uh...she's a...cunt-cunt.
Shmegory: Can't. Rosa's having me work this Saturday.
G: You take too much from that cunt. I mean it.
S: Don't call her that.
G: Why not? If she's not a cunt, I don't know who is.
S: No, I mean, she's worse than a cunt, she's a, uh...she's a...cunt-cunt.
hedberg
An escalator can never break. It can only become stairs. You would never see an "Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order" sign, just "Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience."
-Mitch Hedberg
-Mitch Hedberg