cunt-cunt

A woman who is so terrible, calling her a "cunt" isn't bad enough.
Gregory: You comin' out to the bar, tonight, man?
Shmegory: Can't. Rosa's having me work this Saturday.
G: You take too much from that cunt. I mean it.
S: Don't call her that.
G: Why not? If she's not a cunt, I don't know who is.
S: No, I mean, she's worse than a cunt, she's a, uh...she's a...cunt-cunt.
by !JayAm! June 20, 2019
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high & dry

A method for quitting alcohol by smoking weed instead.
Vance: You want anything? There's beers in the fridge.
Joy: No thanks. I'm kinda high & dry these days.
Vance: Oh, well, there's a pipe in that drawer.
Joy: Cool.
by !JayAm! February 28, 2021
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Cringe Watch

Watching a show you used to really like, but now you're on the last few seasons that are so bad it's become a chore to watch them, so you watch them all in one day to get it over with.
Monty: There's only 6 more episodes of Dexter left. We could finish the show tomorrow night.
Waylon: But the show's gotten so bad. Can't we just stop watching. We could go out and have fun instead of Cringe Watching some show we're both over.
Monty: No......I want to know how it ends.
Waylon: <Sigh> OK, at least it'll be over with.
by !JayAm! July 25, 2020
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hedberg

An escalator that is temporarily stairs.
An escalator can never break. It can only become stairs. You would never see an "Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order" sign, just "Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience."
-Mitch Hedberg
by !JayAm! December 02, 2018
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alzies

Mom (Pointing at her purse): Can you please hand me my... uhh...my, uhh.....
Son and Daughter simultaneously: Alzies!
by !JayAm! January 09, 2021
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temp cycle

When you get fired/laid-off/quit your job and try to get another full time job, but can't for some reason, so you take a temp job. When that ends no one will hire you because they think, "If this guy was any good his last employer would have hired him full time." So you get another temp job because they'll hire anyone.
Justin: I've been looking for a job for 3 months now, and the only places showing any interest are just temp jobs.

Rich: So, what's wrong with that?
J: Well it would be nice to have insurance or paid days off or any kind of benefits, and have a normal, stable job. But I guess I'm just stuck in a temp cycle for-fucking-ever!
by !JayAm! August 03, 2018
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haygover

When you drank so much last night that you can't pronounce the letter N.
How you doin' this morning?
Dude, leave me alo', I got the world's worst haygover.
by !JayAm! January 27, 2018
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