Friend 1: "Hey man, what was the Bigroom song they played last night?"
Friend 2: "IDK, they all sound the same."
Friend 1: "Yeah but this one was more lit than normal."

"I passed by an Oofensburg's house today."

Cameron: Hi I'm Cameron what's your name?
Isabella: Hi Cameron, My name is Isabella.
Cameron: No way, that is such a pretty name.
Isabella: Thank you, do you want to be friends?
Cameron: Heck yeah!!!
(A few years later)
Cameron: Hey Isabella.
Isabella: Yeah Cameron.
Cameron: Well, we have been friends for a while and I was wondering if we could go on a date some time
Isabella: Are you kidding? I have been waiting for you to ask me that!! Of course I'll go on a date with you

Cameron: Really!! Great, come on bae, we can go on a picnic later tonight

Isabella: Ok!!!! Sounds great!!!
Cameron: All right see you then
(They lived happily ever after)

Daryl: hey dude, where are you from?

Dickhead Calexican: Calexico, wanna see how big my dick is because of it?
Or
Me: Stray is the best calexico song.

Rector told me to get him another cup of coffee. I ain't his bitch, so I gave it a rim job.

"I didn't have enough time to get it up so I started flastibating instead"