The epitome of all that is weak and most certainly does not keep it fresh. Per common knowledge, a zip lock lock bag looks useful but only really keeps things fresh for a matter of minutes and serves an extremely limited purpose, and this jive ass turkey is no different.
guy 1: "You see Clyde over there, he really brings nothing to the table."
guy 2: "Yeah he's a zip lock bag if I've ever seen one."
guy 1: "word"
or
"That zip lock bag kept my fruit fresh for like 2 hours. These strawberries look like they fucked Eli Whitney's cotton gin. F zip lock bags bro."
While our lifespan is the number of years we will live, our healthspan is the number of healthy years we will have and our sexspan is is the number of years we will continue to be healthy enough to continue having an active sex life.
A lighthearted reaction upon receiving disappointing news of some sort. Usually something that isn't a particularly a big deal, esp. when it primarily affects someone else - sort of a mild schadenfreude. Sometimes doubled or tripled, and possibly said in a sing-songy voice for added comedic effect to imitate a muted trumpet, which is how the meme originated.
A phenomenon in film/television series, most notably streaming series, where the main premise is drawn out to such a point that it takes an entire season or more to get the parts of the series the audience is actually interested in seeing.
For example, if a series is titled "Surf Dracula," a majority of viewers would tune in expecting to see Dracula surfing by the first or second episode. However, the entire first season would instead be tedious padding and backstory before finally ending with Dracula surfing in the last five minutes of the season finale.
I watched "Smallville" on Netflix the other day. Dude, it was ten seasons of filler before he finally flew! Major Surf Dracula Syndrome!