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lick a witches tit 

hey im too tired to go to the sock hop tonight "hey kris just lick a witches tit bro"

As cold as a witches tit 

An object that is extremely cold
The pizza's as cold as a witches tit

Colder than a witches tit

When it is so cold outside that even the coldest and meanest of evil witches develope a nipple errection that is so hard and pointed that you could cut glass with it or poke someone's eye out with it
It's colder than a witches title outside

as flat as a witches tit 

When the atmosphere has dropped and has become boring
This house is as flat as a witches tit!

cold as a witches left tit 

Used to describe something that is insanely cold.

Back in the day, witches were believed to be evil, i.e. "cold of heart." A witches left tit (or teat) is close to the heart, therefore a witches left tit is very cold.

Also used to describe an unusually mean or nasty person.
"Stop being cheap and turn up the thermostat, it's colder than a witches left tit in here."

Canadian toilet seats in the wintertime.

"Who doesn't love a basket of puppies dressed up like the cast of Harry Potter?! That person is as cold as a witches left tit."