1 An old man with problems you don't want to know about.
2 My dad..... No names mentioned
3 A woman with serious problems who thinks she's a man.
4 Any one (male) who has problems or appears to have some kind of brain disorder
The weirdo man across the street picked up the paper from outside and stuck it in his pants.
While our lifespan is the number of years we will live, our healthspan is the number of healthy years we will have and our sexspan is is the number of years we will continue to be healthy enough to continue having an active sex life.
A lighthearted reaction upon receiving disappointing news of some sort. Usually something that isn't a particularly a big deal, esp. when it primarily affects someone else - sort of a mild schadenfreude. Sometimes doubled or tripled, and possibly said in a sing-songy voice for added comedic effect to imitate a muted trumpet, which is how the meme originated.