Top definition
Wassels be what ye doth youst;

upon moonlit fjords after a sucessful pillage;

swords laid crimson with the blood of thine vanquished foe.
The King doth wake to night,
and takes his rouse,
Keepes wassels and the swaggering vpspring reeles,
And as he dreines his draughts of Renish downe,
The kettle Drum and Trumpet thus bray out
The triumph of his Pledge.

"Rejoice forthwith ye heathen! Thy enemies lie fallen; and the spoils of battle be upon thee! A youst of wassels!"
by I be Roliung, ye xefe! August 19, 2004
Get the mug
Get a wassels mug for your Facebook friend Abdul.
2
(Verb) To dress up like a scientist just so one can masturbate while wearing a lab coat and safety goggles.
Mike became so excited after he wasseled, he stained his saftey goggles and wiped them clean with his lab coat.
by Dr. Wassel May 27, 2003
Get the mug
Get a Wassel mug for your cat Callisto.
3
(Verb)Insisting that time machines exist because it was seen on TV even though the idea of a Flux Capacitor is unholy and just plain wrong. This statement is often made to obtain sexual gratification off of an elderly family member or an older homosexual that resembles the Wasseler's father.
Michael told everyone on the school bus that time machines really do exist because he saw it on television the night before. He made this statement because he knew his grandmother was having company over that kind of looked like his father and he was hoping to have relationships with both of them at the same time.
by Roy Palpherson December 02, 2004
Get the mug
Get a Wassel mug for your daughter-in-law Jovana.
4
(Noun)One who commonly talks to figments of his or her imagintation and demands that they exist even though those fictitious characters do not.
Granny walked in on Michael while he was masturbating and asked who he was talking to and Mike stated that it was a 2000 year-old mechanical dog named Harvey Dog along with Sugar Crisp Cereal Spokesbear Sugar Bear. Because Mike was a wassel and had no true grasp of logic he insisted that the dog and bear were actually there watching him holding towels even though they were not.
by Jason February 24, 2004
Get the mug
Get a Wassel mug for your mate Georges.
5
(Noun) The actions that are a result of referring to ones' phallus as a candy stick.

(Verb) Feeling a total lack of shame during the aftermath of a mid-day high school fecal accident in the pants.
(Noun) Mikey was astonished when he had to come face to face with the wassel and started to realize that calling his penis a "candy stick" was something that he shouldn't of done.

(Verb) Mike was proudly wasseling when he gleefully announced to several of his classmates that he had crapped his pants and that the feces were still in them.
by Roy Benum April 10, 2008
Get the mug
Get a wassel mug for your mate Trump.
6
1.) (Verb)To screw a girl in the rectal cavity while she performs fellatio on a member of the canine species.

2.) (adj.)Sulky and trashy looking with tendencies of pedophilia.
1.) (Noun) Jenny screamed and spit out dog semen as Mike Wasseled her ass.

2.) (adj.) The tenth grader crapped his pants in school and everyone knew right away that this long haired goon was rather wassel looking.
by Escargo May 21, 2003
Get the mug
Get a Wassel mug for your buddy Manafort.
7
(Verb)Claiming you invented old fashioned objects even though you have not
Mike wasseled by insisting that he was the founder of the free frontier and that he invented the wheel.
by E. Wilkop February 24, 2004
Get the mug
Get a Wassel mug for your mom Rihanna.