velobsteraptor 

A mythical creature that is half velociraptor and half lobster. This strange combination results in a nightmarish predator that tends to hang around in large packs, can survive both on land and in water, and rips its chosen prey apart with its huge pincers and razor-sharp claws.

If you see a velobsteraptor, please contact your local mad scientist immediately, as he or she is probably missing their precious mutant. If you see more than one velobsteraptor, please curl up into the fetal position and pray to any given deity/deities of your choosing.

"Oh SHIT! It's a velobsteraptor!! Take the children and run while you still can!"

"Velobsteraptors don't exist, that's the stupidest thing I ever AAAAAH JESUS CHRIST GET IT OFF ME GEAAAAAAUGUBLrnmg"

"Velobsteraptors ate my homework, killed my parents, raped my dog, destroyed my house and stole my car!! It was TOTALLY AWESOME!!!!!"

velobsteraptor by That Vulture Girl April 28, 2009