Twinkies
Twinkies by attackeagle April 1, 2008
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Twinkies
Twinkies are those spongy sugary snack cakes that you usually see near the bread isle in your local supermarket that you just can't stay away from.
These delicacies consist of a "golden sponge" structure filled with a smooth vanilla cream. They are shaped like prisms with rounded tops and measure 10cm lengthwise. A whopping 39 ingredients (most of which are weird chemicals) make up a Twinkie. Twinkies have an official shelf life of only 25 days unlike what several urban legends claim. The cowboy-Twinkie hybrid on the box is nicknamed "Twinkie the Kid."
Twinkies were invented in 1930 with traditional ingredients and different filling. They soon adapted into the Twinkies we know today due to a need for longer shelf life. Soon, the snack became a part of Hostess Brands. For 82 years, Twinkies were an icon for junk food and, more recently, a target for health-crazy nutcases.
Then in November 2012, due to the fact that Obama and the economy sucks, Hostess Brands went bankrupt, closed all its factories, and Twinkies appeared to be no more. For months, hard-core Twinkie fanatics had to kiss other people's asses on Ebay just to get a box of them. Then in June 2013, it was announced that Twinkies would make a triumphant return. As of July 15, 2013, Twinkies are back on the shelves in the same Hostess box under new management. They cost $4 for a box of 10. The legend of Twinkies lives on.
These delicacies consist of a "golden sponge" structure filled with a smooth vanilla cream. They are shaped like prisms with rounded tops and measure 10cm lengthwise. A whopping 39 ingredients (most of which are weird chemicals) make up a Twinkie. Twinkies have an official shelf life of only 25 days unlike what several urban legends claim. The cowboy-Twinkie hybrid on the box is nicknamed "Twinkie the Kid."
Twinkies were invented in 1930 with traditional ingredients and different filling. They soon adapted into the Twinkies we know today due to a need for longer shelf life. Soon, the snack became a part of Hostess Brands. For 82 years, Twinkies were an icon for junk food and, more recently, a target for health-crazy nutcases.
Then in November 2012, due to the fact that Obama and the economy sucks, Hostess Brands went bankrupt, closed all its factories, and Twinkies appeared to be no more. For months, hard-core Twinkie fanatics had to kiss other people's asses on Ebay just to get a box of them. Then in June 2013, it was announced that Twinkies would make a triumphant return. As of July 15, 2013, Twinkies are back on the shelves in the same Hostess box under new management. They cost $4 for a box of 10. The legend of Twinkies lives on.
Mark: "Jason, where the hell is my last box of Twinkies!?"
Jason: "Um. . . I ate them all."
Mark: "Dammit, Jason! I paid over $10 for those Twinkies! Don't you know that they are all gone?"
Jason: "Wow, you are a sore loser; Twinkies are coming back July 15 for $4."
Mark: "WHAT!? That's impossible!!! I checked the bread isle the other day and they weren't there."
Jason: "Looks like you're not getting those $6 back. . . or those Twinkies."
Mark: "DAMN YOU HOSTESS!!!!!!!"
Jason: "Um. . . I ate them all."
Mark: "Dammit, Jason! I paid over $10 for those Twinkies! Don't you know that they are all gone?"
Jason: "Wow, you are a sore loser; Twinkies are coming back July 15 for $4."
Mark: "WHAT!? That's impossible!!! I checked the bread isle the other day and they weren't there."
Jason: "Looks like you're not getting those $6 back. . . or those Twinkies."
Mark: "DAMN YOU HOSTESS!!!!!!!"