turd purgatory 

when you feel like you need to take a large dump but cant manage to sqeeze anything out resulting in an abnormally long session in the restroom or an uneasy feeling if you decide to proceed with your day with only pushing out a few tiny pellet size turds...also can decribe when you need to take a huge shit and it gets half way out of your asshole and your butthole is stretched to the furthest diameter possible,nearly tearing your o-ring then stops causing you to breath like a ladie in a lamaze class while trying to muster with the strenght to force it out..which while taking place could feel like an extremely long time in which everthing you think you know comes into question and you question if god really exists.

"sorry I was late,J had to take a huge shit and was caught in turd purgatory.I nearly blew out my o-ring, but im good now.Too much meatloaf with dessert "

turd purgatory by anonymous September 18, 2020

smoking a turd in purgatory 

An admonition given to an individual who engages in socially unacceptable behavior, especially at the expense of another.

"I told Jimmy that if he didn't apologize to that nun for asking if it was her breath or her pussy that smelled terrible, he would be smoking a turd in purgatory."

smoking a turd in purgatory by Politically Incorrect Schmuck June 14, 2006