Tortuous lecturer. This individual is not just prone to tortuous lecturing in matters of intellectual discussion, but considers this a form of casual social conversation. He or she will only give accounts that are overly long, detailed, winding. His approach is completely self-centered, without regard to the attention-state of needs of his sounding board. He will not reads signs of boredom or fatigue but may get peeved when details are not remembered by victims. The tortalect will assume the listener's patience can be mistaken for friendship. Conversation ultimately becomes lecturing.

When you eat dirt for the first time and leave your family to build a shack in the woods