Today years old 

Phrase used by those who got by in school with C's and refuse to properly refer to how old they are/were.

I was today years old when I found out that the straw holes in Capri Suns are also the dot on the i, why didn't school teach me this????????

Today years old by Ani_Mike June 2, 2019

today years old 

A fancy way of saying that you just did or learned something for the first time today.

I was today years old when I found out that it's called duck tape and not duct tape.

He finally lost his virginity when he was today years old.

today years old by BornBlitzed September 7, 2018

Today years old 

A millennial way of saying "recently"

I was today years old when i kissed a girl. Guess what? She liked it

Today years old by Johnny Doeb February 11, 2023

Today years old 

A phrase grown adults who haven’t lost their virginity yet and still live in their parent’s basement say when they heard something on the internet that usually isn’t true.

I was today years old when I learned that guitar strings are actually made for cutting cheese cubes.

Today years old by TheAlwaysCorrect1 February 5, 2023

Today years old 

A thing millennials say to intentionally sound like they have damage in their Broca’s area

I was today years old when I learned this *left side of their face starts drooping*

Today years old by TheAlwaysCorrect1 January 21, 2023