to masturbate... to do the the dirty deed, in a few words to deal with your sexual needs by yourself
Guy 1: How did it go last night?
Guy 2: Not so good, so I had to spank the monkey!
by Monkey Business March 03, 2011
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Spanking the Monkey is another term for masturbating, otherwise known as beating your meat, slapping the ham, tugging the tiger, jerkin the gerkin, or stroking the sausage.
"Jake Cutler! Stop spanking the monkey so hard and come have some meth with me." - Charlie Foulds
by dildy69 2.0 June 26, 2018
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waxing the carrot, choking the bishop, jacking the beanstock, yankee-ing the doodle,peting the one eyed wonder weasel, waxing the wood, caulking the cracks, jacking off, wanking.
"Oh dear jebus, jimmy is spanking the monkey in class!!!"
by bhrome April 06, 2004
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When a man masterbates or strokes his penis
All of a sudden, he pulled down his pants and started spanking that monkey!
by The Molster March 04, 2004
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Taking things in to your own hand or a hand trusted by you.
I woke up last night and found my monkey standing up. I spanked him and he went back to sleep.
by David October 27, 2003
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