the engineer 

Hey look buddy, I'm an engineer. That means I solve problems, not problems like "What is beauty?" Because that would fall within the purview of your conundrums of philosophy. I solve practical problems, for instance: how am I going to stop some mean mother Hubbard from tearing me a structurally superfluous be-hind? The answer, use a gun, and if that don't work... Use more gun. Take for instance this heavy caliber tripod mounted lil' old number designed by me, built by me, and you best hope... Not pointed at you.

meet the engineer

the engineer by Why not7 October 20, 2020

Meet the engineer 

Hey look buddy. I'm an engineer. That means I solve problems.

A shot rings out and a bullet hole appears next to the Engineer's head

Engie: Not problems like "What is beauty?", 'cause that would fall within the purview of your conundrums of philosophy.

Another two bullet holes appear, on the other side of the Engie's head.

Engineer: I solve practical problems.

the shot zooms out to show a level 2 sentry shooting offscreen while the Engie takes a long drink from his beer.

Heavy: AAAAGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!

Engineer: For instance, how am I gonna stop some big mean Mother-Hubbard from tearin' me a structurally superfluous new behind?

A level 1 sentry turns around and shoots a sniper who was trying to creep up on the Engie from behind.

Engineer: The answer? Use a gun. And if that don't work, use more gun.

Another level 3 sentry fired a salvo of rockets, blowing up someone offscreen.

Someone, probably the scout: MY AAAARRRMMMM!!!!!

a blown-off hand lands at the Engie's feet

Engie: Like this, heavy-caliber tripod-mounted little-old-number designed by me,

Engie kicks the hand off screen as a level 1 sentry blows it apart

Engie: Built by me,

A level 1 sentry shoots offscreen

Engie: and you best hope;

The Engie's expression darkens, and he stares right at the camera

Engie: not pointed at you.

have you seen Meet the engineer?

Meet the engineer by Hey look buddy I’m an engineer September 19, 2020

Fumez the engineer 

The best drill music producer in London

I'm like Fumez the engineer

Fumez the engineer by Certifiedexeh August 11, 2023

best senior engineer in the world 

the text on your dad's mug if your dad has a boring profession

My dad is the best senior engineer in the world! so that's why my dad is boring.

best senior engineer in the world by martcraft June 6, 2018

The First Law of Engineering 

The premise that 1) Anything can be fixed by hitting it with a hammer, and 2) If you cannot fix the problem, you do not have a big enough hammer.

See also: Percussive Maintenance, Harmonic Persuasion.

"It's The First Law of Engineering, Leonidas,” Granadica sent. “If you can’t fix it, you’re not using a big enough hammer.”

-Granadica in The Hot Gate, book three of the Troy Rising series by John Ringo

The First Law of Engineering by Western_Rambler November 5, 2020