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Telecom

Also known as 'Telecon'.

The main telecommunications business in New Zealand.
They dominate the phone lines and force everybody else to use ridiculously slow internet speeds because they can't be bothered unbundling some cables.

Often ridiculed for their horrible impact on NZs' internet speed and their blocky, unimaginative logo.

Hated for making the song "Come Together" by the Beatles a national taboo.
Gamer1 "I'm running at 200ping!"
Gamer2 "Fucking telecom and their gay interwebs!!"

Customer "Hello, my phone lines are broken."
Telecom Rep. "We can get somebody out there to help in about a month... please hold."
by Superbacon January 12, 2008
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telecom

Telecomunists
Everyone
Loves
Epecialy
Comunists
Of da
Motherland
telecom
dude hes a telecom-er
by Tellecomie November 12, 2004
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Gulf telecom

A hip telephone company that's been around for almost thirty years and specializes in ip phone service and free phone systems. Just by the phones sign up and go
Can't believe the great system and it was free only from gulf telecom
by Doodlebaum dennenberg October 11, 2011
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Altima Telecom

When you get terrible ping during the middle of a multiplayer match.
I'm sorry guys, I just got terribly Altima Telecomed on.
by omegavermillion February 9, 2022
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Telecomuniphobia

A fear of talking to somone over the telephone. This is caused due to text messaging too much. Symptoms often include refusing to call somone, or hanging up if anyone other then the intended person answers the phone.
"Why did he hang up without saying anything?"
"He has telecomuniphobia"
by Mattocks July 9, 2009
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telecommuting

The ability to find yourself fully surrounded by incompetent idiots while working from the comfort of your own home.
I may be working in my pj's, but through the magic of telecommuting, I'm still stuck dealing with these morons all day.
by annoyed12345 May 11, 2011
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Telecoprolism

The statistically anomalous tendency for the telephone to ring while you are having a shit. Extensive studies have shown that the phone of any individual has, at any given time, a 500% higher chance of ringing while its owner is evacuating his/her bowels than during other common everyday tasks such as masturbation, hoovering and chimping. Some schools of thought consider telecoprolism to be a subset of the Sod's Law principle. The others don't really consider such issues to be a worthy use of academic time and resources.
I was just settling down for my morning log and got telecoprolised by the bank again. Bloody telecoprolism, eh?
by Lancaster's Second Finest August 15, 2011
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