telecommoding 

An office bathroom strategy where a person commutes to a bathroom on another floor or building to dispense of solid waste with the desire of not being recognized by co-workers if the session become foul and disgusting. Some who work in a place with limited bathroom choices may elect to drive home to use the bathroom. See shitbreak.

“I just stopped by your desk and didn’t see you there.” “Sorry sir. I just returned from telecommoding at accounting. I didn’t want to be seen removing the glaze from the toilets on our floor.”

telecommoding by Clint Fu January 12, 2015

Telecommoding 

Telecommoding: adv. The act of sitting on the toilet for an extended period of time looking at your cell phone. Verb. Telecommode.

#1. I thought my son left the house, but it turned out he was telecommoding for the last half hour. #2. During the COVID-19 shelter in place order, people have been doing a lot of telecommoding.

Telecommoding by 2Ringer6 April 10, 2020

telecommuting 

The ability to find yourself fully surrounded by incompetent idiots while working from the comfort of your own home.

I may be working in my pj's, but through the magic of telecommuting, I'm still stuck dealing with these morons all day.

telecommuting by annoyed12345 May 11, 2011

reverse telecommuting 

Bringing personal work to the office: paying bills, playing games and reading online newspapers on company time (OCT).

reverse telecommuting by C.J.Matrix September 9, 2003

Telecommuning 

Once trend, now status quo of spending more virtual time with our fellow human beings than actual face-time.
The act of living through social media, online games, email and text-messages rather than picking up the phone (as initially intended) to CALL another person or as a means to truly "stay in touch" via conversation or to facilitate actual get-togethers or live social events.
A reliance on having numerous online "followers" that staves off loneliness the way a picnic ora good, old-fashioned softball game with friends, acquaintances and family members once did.
Like telecommuTing, a form of attendance and human interaction we can manage from "virtually" anywhere, diminishing the need for proximity with family, friends and coworkers.

"Thanks to telecommuting and telecommuning I never need to leave the house!"
"Ashley is super popular. She telecommunes with her 19,000 closest friends all the time!"

Telecommuning by TheSquidGirl May 24, 2014

reverse telecommuting 

1. To communicate with yourself using items such as phone, fax, e-mail; in attempt to appear busy or doing ones job.

2. Speaking aloud to the other you in the sub-conscience or quantum realm.

1. "I didn't have time to finish the report due to...hang on. I've got a call."

2. The weirdo on the street corner isn't talking to himself. He's reverse telecommuting.

reverse telecommuting by Dane C. Eiteneier - Esoteric January 16, 2008