speed goggles

When one's ability to rationally determine someone's attractiveness is altered by his or her prowess at running (how fast they are). The speed goggles phenomena results in a direct correlation between fast track times (speed) and sexual attractiveness, and has been linked with many skinny, pasty young boys getting laid.

The term is derived from "beer goggles", where the attractiveness altering agent is athletic ability, not alcohol.

Guy #1: Dude... why is Jane so obsessed with that guy who won OFSAA? He has chicken legs and wears flappy short shorts. Not even good-looking!

Guy #2: Must be speed goggles...

Guy #1: My God! I'd better start working on that 4 min mile...

speed goggles by speedgoggles April 19, 2010

Get merch

Get the speed goggles mug.

See more merch

speed goggles

When you're opinion of a member of the opposite sex changes based on how fast he/she is. Very common among top cross-country runners, track athletes, swimmers, etc. Although throwers and jumpers are not basing on speed, but rather throwing or jumping ability, the term "speed goggles" is still applied.

Guy 1- "Man that girl is fine."
Guy 2- "She's decent but you're rockin your speed goggles a little too much"

speed goggles by Cybulski FTW May 1, 2006

Get merch

Related Words

speed goggles • speed • speed bump • Speed runner • speed run • speed racer • speed limit • speed demon • speed trap • speed weed

Speed Goggles

Where a man or woman spends far too much time on dodgy swinging web sites after taking large amounts of speed. You'll know when the Speed Goggles kick in as you will start to find mingers really quite doable.

"Wow she's cute"

"No mate, that's your speed goggles kicking, stop letching and snort this"

Speed Goggles by draventwo April 12, 2009

Get merch

Toe Rag

A toe rag was originally a foot wrapping used, since mediaeval times up until the mid-nineteenth century, to protect the foot from chafing by boots or shoes. As these were, quite literally, rags they weren’t usually washed, and so with use they became very smelly until they were thrown away. Because of the similarity in smell, toe rag also became the name applied to dried, salted cod or other things with a strong, unpleasant, fishy smell. It didn’t take that long before the name was applied to someone who was an obnoxious, unpleasant OIC.

1 “Socks! Those aren’t socks you smelly git, they’re toe rags!”
2 “What have you been cooking? Smells like toe rag!”
3 “I can smell ‘er fanny from ‘ere, proper toe rag.”
4 That Heale Malcolm is a right toe rag.

Toe Rag by AKACroatalin November 29, 2016

Word of the Day on July 24, 2026

Get merch

Eternity leave

When some resigns or retires from a job, they are on "eternity leave". This can also refer to someone who has passed away, especially someone who worked somewhere for a long time, retired/resigned, then passed away later.

Oh I'm sorry, you didn't know that Kelly is on eternity leave? She resigned and moved to Hawaii!

With regrets I would like to inform you that my boss is officially on eternity leave. I will never see or hear them again. Ever.

Eternity leave by LingDanc803 February 7, 2023

Word of the Day on July 23, 2026

Get merch

jody

The hypothetical man (often a sinister character who decided not to go to boot camp) that is doing your girlfriend/wife while you are on deployment overseas.

Ain't no use in goin home,
Jody's got your girl and gone.
Ain't no use in goin back,
Jody's got your Cadillac,
Ain't no use in feeling blue,
Jody's took your checkbook too.

jody by Sgt Apan March 31, 2006

Word of the Day on July 22, 2026

Get merch

girl grip

The ability girls and women have developed to hold several items at once in one hand. The skill has been developed due to the lack of pockets in women's clothing.

I thought she'd need multiple trips to carry her phone, keys, wallet, and Starbucks to her car since she needed the other hand to open the door, but she used her impressive girl grip to carry everything in one hand.

girl grip by SillyMilly33 July 31, 2023

Word of the Day on July 21, 2026

Get merch