shmimature 

A hearty and plump bagel. Tends to be full of nutritious seeds and stuff!

"Why Betty, it appears to me that your shmimature is green. Better take it back to the shmimature store!" - Lovely Rick

shmimature by AWeirdRedHeadedWoman January 20, 2010

shitature 

Good literature to read while taking a shit.

Let's put some good shitature in our bathroom, so we can read while taking a shit.

shitature by Shawis2funforGG February 23, 2011