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Self Defense

popular method of thwarting muggers. Patented by self defense instructor Brett Kaywood and has proved to be effective in the only laboaratory that matters: The streets. When confronted by a mugger, the method consists of 2 simple steps:

1) Gain wrist control

2) Pull out your gun

This technique can be used in many situations such as:

- You're walking home from work when a mugger confronts you in a back alleyway because he wants crack.

- Your best friend mugs you at his barbacue because he wants your money to buy crack.

- Your mugger is sleeping in their own bed (remember to climb in through the window) and is mugging you for crack.

- Your mugger is bound by the wrists in the trunk of your car and he is mugging you because he needs crack.
Person 1: I heard it was your grandma's 100th birthday today. How did that go?

Person 2: She tried mugging me to buy crack so I used what I learned from Self Defense and pulled out my gun.
by eclipseballer603 December 9, 2008
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Self Defense

When somebody who's on MY side shoots someone, but not when it's somebody on YOUR side!
Person 1 : "Yeah, Person 4 shot Person 56 in self defense because he came at Person 4 with a knife."
Person 2 : "Oh, shame. I hope he's okay."
Person 1 : "Oh yeah, Person 5 shot Person 78 because he did the same thing."
Person 2: "Person 5? Isn't he one of those OdD nUmBeR people? Crazy how murderers get away with anything in this country.."
Person 1: "What"
by LordHookie April 28, 2022
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Self Defense

The skills you need to master and use to protect yourself from home invasion, robbery, or other personal attack by greasy haired Pachucos, Crips, Bloods, and other criminals.
If you want protect yourself from attacks by Pachucos and other criminals, you have to learn self defense.
Liberals call Self Defense "taking the law into your own hands." They do not want people to defend themselves against criminals.
by Cap'n Bullmoose October 26, 2008
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self defense

What an alcoholic woman would claim after she attacks you with a knife.
Police officer: Why did you stab your husband multiple times?
Woman holding liquor bottle: Uh... self defense?
Police officer: Sir, you're going to jail.
Man: What?!
by L August 14, 2007
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self defense

bro i just commited self defense
by ekkkekekkekekeke January 3, 2021
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Self Defense

When someone tries to beat you up so you beat them up to stop them from beating you up.
Person 1 used self defense when Person 2 tried to chase him and grab his weapon. Person 2 seemed to have intent of harming Person 1.
by Based Cow November 18, 2021
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Self Defense

most people is to protect yourself but some is to do it with someone at karate
“he strangled me so i laughed uwu” that is self defense right there
by defnotsomeonewhoknowslayla August 9, 2022
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