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schlochembacher 

one who is depressed and is willing to explain to anybody how bad their life is on social clubs such as myspace, facebook, twitter, etc.
schlochembacher
schlochembacher by youngno23 March 20, 2010

Schlochenthorp 

Schlochenthorp is a sex move which takes no less than three years to complete and there is absolutely NO sex to be had. It contains 849 highly detailed steps that must be followed to the letter. A full list can be found on Facebook. It can be performed solo or with multiple people.
I haven't seen John lately. Where is he?" "He is off performing Schlochenthorp with his girlfriend. He won't be back for a while"

splorched my jammies 

when you uh... *splorch* in your jammies :|
stella: vinnie tell us a story
vinnie: well there was this one time where i splorched my jammies in 6th grade math class...
A weird alien-like egg-laying dildo
Randall's mother found his splorch and couldn't help but wonder how he obtained such a weird novelty.

DUDE YOU OWN A SPLORCH? WHERE ARE IT'S EGGS??
SPLORCH by IndianTroll December 5, 2016
Food that is pre-processed and comes in a can, box or bag. Of dubious nutritional value, taste and may cause gastrointestinal distress. But it is CHEAP. Named after the sound it makes when it comes out of it's container.
You know that boy's a bachelor, nothing but beer in the fridge, pizzas in the freezer and splorch in the pantry.
Splorch by TM 9-2320-280-10 February 5, 2019
The sound made when chocolate pudding is thrown against a wall. First used to describe a story being told by a former child star after working with an angry Bill Cosby.
Cosby: Then you take the chocolate pudding and SPLORCH! Right against the wall!
Splorch by Tai Zidek January 5, 2005