psycologist 

someone who believes that problems thought up by the mind can be solved by even more thinking

psycologist - "next time you are depressed i want to you stop being depressed by thinking about not being depressed"

psycologist by byyeeeeaaahhhhwat April 8, 2015

clerical psychologist 

A term that darkly mocks what clinical psychology has become in this data-heavy, lawsuit-driven world which often values documentation of treatment more than the treatment itself.

I feel like I should be called a “clerical psychologist” because the time needed to appropriately document the clinical contact, required by the state, can eat up the entire hour, leaving me with no time to interact with the patient!

clerical psychologist by Dr Bunnygirl September 15, 2019

armchair psychologist 

A person who gives advice for mental disorders, emotional disorders, or any other mental illness and has no known background knowledge of psychology. More than just advice with no clinical know how.

Some dude gave me advice on eating disorders at Mac D's and claimed that the food additives had addictive properties creating a mental cycle of "food abuse". I asked if he was some kind of armchair psychologist or a something, grabbed my number one with cheese and bounced. Fucker was right or was he?

armchair psychologist by anti-goodtimes October 9, 2009

Internet Psychologist 

An individual, often pretentious, that takes huge leaps of logic in order to claim an understanding of the real-world persona of someone they come in contact with through the internet. This is usually in an argument or debate, as internet psychologists usually love to think they are right about everything.

They have a tendency to point out things that people say and use them as evidence to "prove" they are a certain way in real life. Often, they are wrong, as they tend to stretch the truth of the facts they are given to fit a negative image of the person they are "evaluating" and just come across looking like complete tools.

Internet Psychologist: You're obviously someone ugly who can't get a girl and is trying to downplay it by saying you don't think this attractive girl is attractive.

Normal Person: Dude, all I said was that I personally am not into redheads. Stop being an internet psychologist.

Internet Psychologist by Glamoiglia November 30, 2011

Psychologistician 

A person who controls how and where information is present in the brain. Like a Psychologist but rather specializes in controlling the inner workings of the brain. Works in the profession of Psychologistics. Common tactics include reverse psychology, hypnotism, and cranial abuse"Often in cases the reptillian complex will overtake the limbic system, and abuse it physically, emotionally, sexually, mentally... the neocrotex stands idly by of course, not daring to interfere are the risk of being injured," says Dr. Max McRage, a leading member of the Worldwide Society of Psychologisticians.

My brain has been hurting ever since I went to my psychologistician...I wonder why Dr. McRage refused to comment on where he obtained his PhD.

Psychologistician by Lawrence Jackson December 16, 2008

Pub Psychologist 

An understanding and sympathetic person people turn to in a pub or bar to talk about their problems.

He got it all sorted after speaking to the pub psychologist.

Pub Psychologist by wardswords November 28, 2016

Psychologist 

A certified and trained prostitute of the mind, who naturally charges for his/her services by the hour.

Dr. Sigmund Freud

Psychologist by nethcev! April 28, 2004