Phantom wipe 

Wipe once nothing there, twice nothing. You’re starting to lose all hope in your ability to wipe yourself. Again you go in for a third wipe. And you see nothing there you begin to panic and wipe a fourth time nothing there. This is what is known as the phantom wipe. Any time you go to the bathroom and wipe yourself you check the toilet paper. If you don’t you should to make sure your getting all the … (well you know, crap). If you check and there is nothing there the first though the fourth time you just had a Phantom wipe. Or you do not know how to wipe yourself if this happens every time you go to the bathroom.

(Friend 1 has just come out of the bathroom) Friend 1: Hey dude I just had a Phantom wipe.
Friend 2: no way, those are so scary when you have the Phantom wipe.

Phantom wipe by Glockman1727AK47 January 10, 2009

phantom wipe 

When after you take a dump, you wipe your ass but see nothing on the toilet paper.

I just took a shit and did a phantom wipe.

phantom wipe by Bigg Gene March 24, 2006

phantom wipe 

Wipe once nothing there, twice nothing. You’re starting to lose all hope in your ability to wipe yourself. Again you go in for a third wipe. And you see nothing there you begin to panic and wipe a fourth time nothing there. This is what is known as the phantom wipe. Any time you go to the bathroom and wipe yourself you check the toilet paper. If you don’t you should to make sure your getting all the … (well you know, crap). If you check and there is nothing there the first though the fourth time you just had a Phantom wipe. Or you do not know how to wipe yourself if this happens every time you go to the bathroom.

(Friend 1 has just come out of the bathroom) Friend 1: Hey dude I just had a Phantom wipe.
Friend 2: no way, those are so scary when you have the Phantom wipe.

phantom wipe by Glockman1727AK47 January 6, 2009

Phantom Wiper

A phantom wiper is an unknown person who wipes their butt on various objects.

If you see a rag, towel, rug, or a shower curtain with brown streaks you know the phantom has stricken.

"Hey did you see that towel with brown streaks on it?"

"The phantom wiper strikes again!!!"

Phantom Wiper by Nightguy06 February 3, 2026