phallumegaly 

Bigness of the penis disorder. From Barney Stinson in How I met your mother Season 5 episode 8.

At an early age Lorenzo Von Matterhorn was diagnosed with phallumegaly

phallumegaly by Larry D Deer November 17, 2009

Quantum of Phallus 

A gay porn version of James Bond film "Quantum of Solace", starring Briggsy, the arty genius behind "Briggsy Does Brighton". Special agent Briggs Bond saves the world from "breeders" with the help of Q's laser-guided dildos and butt-plug bombs in between bumming every man he can get his hands on and smoking arty cigarettes.

I'm feeling rather horny tonight Cecil. We simply must go and see Quantum of Phallus with our pants down.

Quantum of Phallus by Eddie's Thick Gristle August 4, 2009

phallus fromage 

the cheesy sebaceous matter that collects between the glans penis and the foreskin due to a lack of personal hygiene, also known as dick cheese or smegma

The guy I left with last night had a particularly pungent phallus fromage.

phallus fromage by BzzMxn January 24, 2019

phallusmonger

An expert on the subject of penises, dongs, woodies, willies, doodles, dicks, erections, Johnsons, stiffies, junk, and other assorted phallic objects. Also cocks.

A phallusmonger may or may not be desirous of such objects, but they must necessarily specialize in the knowledge of them or deal in their distribution. See urologist, or gay pimp.

Willy gazed awkwardly down at the floor.
"Doctor, I saw this girl a couple weeks ago, and I think she wasn't clean... I think I might have a problem with my-"
"I'm afraid I'm not qualified to help you in that department." said Doc Johnson. "Here's a referral to see the phallusmonger."
He handed John a slip referring him to one "Woodie U. Wan" in the urology department elsewhere in the hospital. Willy cringed. "Is this some kind of joke? Couldn't you just, y'know, give me some pills or something?"

phallusmonger by Hank J. Wimbleton March 2, 2008

Golden Phallus Complex 

Like King Midas of greek mythology, a person with GPC believes their penis to be magical, witholding the power to turn a queer woman straight through intercourse. A common syndrome among straight cis men who believe lesbians only exist for their enjoyment.

Derived from an addiction to pornography and the inability to believe women can enjoy sex without his mighty member's participation and, therefore, a disease that causes great inconvenience to all sapphics.

Guy: "Hey, you're only a lesbian cuz you haven't had sex with me, I can turn you straight"

Girl: "Wow someone is suffering from The Golden Phallus Complex"

Golden Phallus Complex by suamaede4 August 3, 2022

Philosophic Phallus Aggrandizement

In Argumentation, the act of constructing a line of reasoning unreasonably, its construction built on a foundation of subconscious bias, in order to give the appearance of making a point, for the sole purpose of exaggerating one’s metaphoric genitalia while systematically minimizing their opponent’s.

“Ah, but you overlook another possibility yourself, that of the unison of divinity and insanity. Perhaps the nature of the Infinite is such as to be unquantifiable by the precepts of order, and thus chaotic at heart?

Then again, perhaps other great minds have overlooked these possibilities because they were more concerned with a logical analysis of the questions themselves, and less concerned with philosophic phallus aggrandizement? (D. Amadeo, Email to R. Piccirillo 11/29/06)”

Philosophic Phallus Aggrandizement by Robert Vincent Piccirillo December 1, 2006

Phallusy 

A deceptive, misleading, or false notion on the subject of one's penis, usually about size.

Guy 1 - "Yeah my dick was actually too big for her, it was painful. I mean it's probably about 9 inches."

Guy 2 - "Really? Impressive."

Guy 3 (whispers to guy 2) - "God that is such a phallusy."

-

Guy - "Heard your boyfriend's penis is green."

Girl - "Phallusy: shut the fuck up."

Phallusy by AnonymousMouse1 September 20, 2010