A bowel movement where everything goes according to plan. One continuous 'log' is dropped with no discomfort. The clincher: when you wipe, there is nothing on the TP.
Every once in a while everyone experiences the perfect Brown Trout. It's rare but a real thing of beauty. You sit down expecting the worst, but what you get is a smooth sliding, fart-less masterpiece that breaks the water with the splash-less grace of an Olympic high-diving champion. You use the toilet tissue to find that it was totally unnecessary. It makes you feel that all is right in the world and that you are in perfect harmony with it.
An individual who eats foods he knows from experience digest easily and facilitate taking a perfect shit every day minutes after getting up in the morning.
Knowing how beneficial for her health it is to take a perfect shit each day, following her brother's advice for the first time in her life, Yvonne stopped eating bowel movement inhibiting foods—such as bread, rice, or pasta which is not whole wheat, dairy products and cow or chicken carcasses—and is becoming a perfect shitter.
A shit which leaves behind no trace. When you wipe your arse you find that it's clean, and when you look in the toilet nothing is there. You're left wondering if you actually had a shit.
- I had a shit perfecto this morning. My arse was as clean as a polished sixpence.
- That's nothing. I had a phantom shitperfecto earlier. I didn't even have to flush.