Best school in America. For just a few dozen thousand dollars, you can enjoy the lavish lifestyle of a New York Military Academy cadet: pleasant aroma of asbestos in academic buildings, decorative non-functional smoke detectors and
fire extinguishers, tropical rain forest inspired ceiling leaks, modern art mold and mildew in eating facility. This is the place to go if you
don'
t want to waste your
time on those
silly schools that give you good educations or solid connections. This
may be a historic private "prep-school", but rest assured - no
work is expected of you. Things to bring that aren't on the packing list: money to bribe the adults who take drug tests and hand out punishments, hidden camera to catch thieves, a concealable knife to defend against gangbangers and druggies, a crisp $50 bill to snort the pills you'll get addicted to, a second cell phone, clorox wipes for the bodily fluids that
will be strewn across your floor, energy bars to substitute the 3
day old
breakfast, and several packs of e-cig cartridges to sell on the side. Whatever this school used to be, isn't anymore. NYMA is a breeding ground for everything those pesky
parents want to avoid. Are you "always ready" to get physically and mentally abused? Want to waste 35k, avoid receiving a legitimate education, and have come out dull and angry? If so, come to NYMA! "Set apart for excellence."
Bob: "I want to go to West Point so I'm going to NYMA."
Billy: "You fucking
retard, the only place you'll go to after NYMA is a community college or prison."
Steve: "Hey
Joe, are there any girls at NYMA?"
Joe: "Yeah, but out of the 10, 5 are gross lesbians and the other 5 are just gross."