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nutcracking 

The expression for what you do with your buttcheeks when you need to really need to hold in your fart. Called "nutcracking" because you clench your cheeks so tightly that you could crack a walnut (or some other kind of nut) in between them.
Oh man, I'm totally nutcracking it right now!
nutcracking by Twin D-hoo June 1, 2010

Rusty Nutcracking Trombone 

This is a sexual act in which your partner gives you a rim job and a reach around at the same time Rusty Trombone. However, in this variation your partner removes their false teeth and clamp down on your testicles as hard as possible.
I thought Sharon wanted to make up for all those years of treating me like crap by giving me a Rusty Trombone for my 40th birthday. But she Charlie Browned me by pulling a Rusty Nutcracking Trombone on my already sore balls.

optimal nutcracking height

An area of heights at which someone is easiest to perform a crotch shot on. This area is between the heights of 5'8 and 6'2, anyone shorter than this has a crotch too low to get an easy shot on and vice versa. People within this range have to live in constant fear of their testicles being kicked into oblivion.
If you want to kick someone in the balls first make sure they are within the optimal nutcracking height in order to calculate where you should strike