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tempting my nuptuals

Hanging out with the coolest people you've ever met, while maintaining your marriage vows and keeping your hands to yourself (for the most part, anyway).
Being flanked by two hot females during a concert and having them grab my thighs is really tempting my nuptuals.

ruptured nuptials 

When a marriage or relationship has has either ended or in serious jeopardy.
"Dude, what's up with Bill lately, he's awfully moody."
"I know, I think he's got ruptured nuptials."
ruptured nuptials by billigan August 3, 2007

nuptually challenged 

The term applying to people who have two or more failed marriages under their belt.
John: Jane, will you marry me?
Jane: John, as you know, I am nuptually challenged. I'm not really good at being married. Can't we just date forever?
nuptually challenged by Tina Ej February 16, 2009