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Metacarpus 

Metacarpus is the scientific word for your hand. Your metacarpus is a very good part of your body and is what you use to write idk why I said that. Can also be an insult.
Person 1: Oh dear, it appears my metacarpus is in pain.
Person 2: Oh no! Need ice?
Or
Person 1: You are a loser.
Person 2: You literally are built like the word metacarpus you are not one to talk.
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Metacarpal Scrub 

Using the back of your hands to masterbate in an effort to recreate the feeling of a footjob.
Man, I've been struggling to get any lately. Or, if I find someone willing their feet are nasty. So, I've been getting by on metacarpal scrubs for the last month.
Metacarpal Scrub by ImFCKD December 22, 2017
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