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melted candle 

an overweight male that doesn't do work at physical training and drinks underage. this particular male tries to get with overweight females that are smaller than 5ft.
"regan have you ever seen what a melted candle looks like? that's you with your shirt off"
melted candle by mrhat9000 March 10, 2009

Melted Candle 

A “melted candle”

A woman in her mid 30’s, normally married with a couple of kids and an un-familiar husband (probably shagging the secretary, and she probably knows about it). Very dangerous cougar who is likely to go wild when out on the town for a rare night of freedom. The melted candle refers to her lack of fitness and an amount of weight gain from age/ child birth/ giving up on life. Can be referred to as an iceberg – Tinder/Facebook/ Instagram profile pictures only take in to account the top 12% of her mass – face and boobs - the greater mass is below the waterline/ waist and is hidden from general view.

A melted candle could be the same as above who has reverted to minor plastic surgery in order to fight the aging process. These procedures – Botox, Lip Fillers, tattoo eyebrows - often achieve the opposite effect and make her look older.

In conclusion, not a first choice but would be an exemplary one night stand, as long as you can escape the Travelodge before she wakes up and cries uncontrollably about her kids/husband/ fat arse/ pet cats. 7 Pint minimum.

Can be found on Hen Parties and in your local Cougar Pub
Went on a Tinder with a Melted Candle last night - smash and dashed - she was on a Hen Party
Melted Candle by PhilipHoldenez September 3, 2018

melted candle 

When your lady has had multiple money shots to the face, neck, chest, neck and breast she will be looking something like a melted candle. Also known as Bukake.
Man, I just left your mom's house. We made her into a melted candle!
melted candle by Matt Simmons October 17, 2006

melted candle 

External female genitalia (vulva). From the TV Show Significant Others.
Man, she had a hairy melted candle.
melted candle by Dante March 7, 2005

funiosity 

The art of being peculiar, but in an amusing fashion.
"Wow, look at that dog running on three legs"
- "Yeah, that sure is a funiosity"
funiosity by Supersonic Stevie November 23, 2007
Word of the Day on July 25, 2026
A toe rag was originally a foot wrapping used, since mediaeval times up until the mid-nineteenth century, to protect the foot from chafing by boots or shoes. As these were, quite literally, rags they weren’t usually washed, and so with use they became very smelly until they were thrown away. Because of the similarity in smell, toe rag also became the name applied to dried, salted cod or other things with a strong, unpleasant, fishy smell. It didn’t take that long before the name was applied to someone who was an obnoxious, unpleasant OIC.
1 “Socks! Those aren’t socks you smelly git, they’re toe rags!”
2 “What have you been cooking? Smells like toe rag!”
3 “I can smell ‘er fanny from ‘ere, proper toe rag.”
4 That Heale Malcolm is a right toe rag.
Toe Rag by AKACroatalin November 29, 2016
Word of the Day on July 24, 2026