mattskills 

when 'It's' over and was so good you have to ask, "did i break you?"

His mattskills are so good that i keep 911 on speed dial.

mattskills by yummy 2 my world December 9, 2008

Mattskallop 

A person who takes forever in a kitchen.
One who inflicts strong hunger among people.

Waiter, we've been waiting an hour for our food! Please have that mattskallop hurry up!
That mattskallop has cooking burgers on the grill for an hour!

Mattskallop by Seasonal REAPER November 2, 2022