a young individual who goes through life constantly disappointing people with his/her infinite failures
That stupid kumquat just managed to fail at blowing his nose! How does that happen?!
by paybay July 6, 2012
one wicked sweet fruit. although it's actually kind of bitter.
Should I have eaten the kumquat with or without the skin on?
by Ava and Lauren May 12, 2006
Something you call someone when they're being a lazy little bitch
"Cleidus come to the gym and stop being a kumquat, be a homie"
by Cleidus October 10, 2018
Someone who takes christianity too seriously or someone who believes all sex is very very wrong.
Normal Girl: Oh my god! You see that HOTTIE!?
Kumquat: *crosses self* You slut! Jesus loves you! You will rot in hell!
by mibluvr13 May 17, 2005
Said in response to loud sex.
When you need her to stop shrieking while doin' it: "y'all kumquat or people'll hear you!"
by quatly f-in October 25, 2009
Substance released in the form of a bullet (in shape and size) as a person squats on top of his/her partner's face; may be fruity in flavour - depends on what materials have been consumed by the kumquatter earlier.

Alternatively, a fruit of the Chinese Orange kind.
Guy 1: Man, last night I let out a couple of kumquats on her face, and I had eaten a couple of oranges earlier so she started choking - she's allergic to oranges.

Guy 2: Oh no, what happened?!

Guy 1: She died.
by DDKankerlijer March 25, 2012