1) someone who is brain dead

2) someone who makes illogical decisions
fuck off you kumquat!

by Alex April 2, 2003
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Like a date, only platonic. A friend-date, to get to know someone better or to catch up with them.
Alice asked me out on a kumquat - we're gonna go ice skating!
by I<3PIE January 28, 2015
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A compliment if used by some guy who at one point in time looked like the Comic Book Guy
by Gojira December 30, 2004
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what's left on the sheets after sex
Oh damn! Do you see the size of that kumquat we left?? They're gonna know for sho' we had sex!
by momster64 March 11, 2006
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a soft and squishy sweet tasting and smelling vagina.
I've never tasted a kumquat quite like hers!
by Mr Ots 123 July 11, 2008
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a code referring to a guy whom you had just snuck out for, and hooked up with... usually used when you prefer not using the said guy's name around others
-Dude what did you do last night?
-kumquat
-hahah
by humphappy August 13, 2007
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