jewpacabra
the souls of the six million dead jews from the holocaust found their way into the bodies of chupacabras in the south-western united states and mexico. jewpacabras have a nasty habit of mutilating cows, doing your accounting and eating all of your profits...literally. If you come across a jewpacabra you must burn tall white candles that come in a glass casing with a picture of the virgin mary on them and then flash your protective star of david, which you will conveniently be wearing on your left arm. Doing so will guarantee that only one cow or sheep will be mutilated and you will still be allowed 10% of your profits.
bigfoot, hitler, b. streisand, e. levy, l. kravitz, all-time worst presidential failure r. perot, homosexuals, xenu, l. r. hubbard (they're in cahoots), the jewpacabra, like christ, has the power to save all mankind, but chooses not to in favor of fine ass bitches and hennessey.
jewpacabra by Don Keedik June 20, 2008