jerkin my gerkin 

To masturbate or pleasure oneself. Particularly in a sneaky or humorous way. Mainly applied to males.

I was jerkin my gerkin before the boss walked into my office.

jerkin my gerkin by CountGrishnak June 28, 2008

Jerking My Glerkin 

Jerking off.

(E.g. Punching the clown, beating your meat, spanking the monkey, tug a war with Cyclopes.)

Hey Fred what are you doing? I'm jerking my glerkin!

Jerking My Glerkin by Stale Chip™ April 15, 2014