as right as my jerk hand 

Confirmation/acceptance of something, referring to the speakers handedness for masturbation.

Brenda: You said we’re meeting at 1:30 for coffee, right?
Samuel: You’d be as right as my jerk hand with that.

as right as my jerk hand by wordfanagler January 2, 2019

Hand Jerk And Flick 

The act of Moving your hand in a linear motion back and forth as if you were masturbating, then flicking your hand as if you were cumming/sperming/jizzing onto someone

used as an insult, anyone who doesnt obey your authority

you wip out your hand and masturbate your invisible penis then jizz all over them to insult them with an imaginary pearl necklace with your hand jerk and flick

Hand Jerk And Flick by Dylmatex May 24, 2014

edward jerk hands 

A game where 3 bros have to drink a 40 as fast as possible and the loser has to jerk the other 2 off simultaneously, then whoever cums last has to eat both loads off of a biscuit.

Hey bros wanna play Edward jerk hands tonight?
Sure as long as the biscuit is a chocolate digestive!

edward jerk hands by EdwardJerkHands Grand Champion October 8, 2020

Jerk handle 

like a dildo, it is a long narrow instrument used to masterbate in either the ass or the vagina

you gotta stick a cock up your ass mate, and make a jerk handle out of it

Jerk handle by a_big_bunghole March 5, 2011

Jerk-Off Hands 

When a male enters the room with obvious sented hand lotion following him around. You know he has just jerked off because men dont care about soft skin. Avoid hand shakes, high fives and games of red rover for at least 2 to 4 hours.

Bill: What smells like cucumber mellon?

Ted: I think Tim just rubbed one out.

Bill: Jerk-Off Hands

Tim: Anyone want a skittle? (extends palm full of delicious skittles)

Jerk-Off Hands by PACHYCEPHALOSAURUS November 21, 2010