When masturbating, right before blowing your load, yell "MOM!" or "DAD!" and try to finish before said person enters the room.
by FudgePackerTodd October 14, 2010
The sadness induced masturbation caused by Law Enforcement's refusal to come to your aide after you report that your Lasagna is haunted by ghosts
The police told me: STOP CALLING! But I told them... I told th-Snort, my lasagnia eaten bai ghost! crying, I get sad, and do a Spicy Jerk! - Vargskelethor: Super Ghostbusters (Full Album), Track 5: Ghastbisten
by Egg-Z December 15, 2018
slang for jerk-off session: the event; past, present, or future; where a male has allotted himself several minutes to several hours for nothing other than private, uninterrupted masturbation. A jerk sesh is typically accompanied by one or several forms of visually stimulating material i.e. internet pornography, magazines, movies, etc.
by Ladies got the ERJ December 20, 2011
Feeling a sense of extreme hatred and resentment for someone but still helplessly jerking off to them on a consistent basis.
Thanks to Jessica, Brandon was going broke but he still couldn't help himself from hate jerking to her photos every night. He hated her so much, but GOD she turned him on.
by DivineGoddessJessica May 10, 2019
worn commando which are easily pushed down to the floor for ideal dick access when porn opportunity arises
popular item of clothing in middle school and high school as powerul elastic waste band secures boner against chest in jerk stop emergency. For best results boner should cover at least two inches above belly button
popular item of clothing in middle school and high school as powerul elastic waste band secures boner against chest in jerk stop emergency. For best results boner should cover at least two inches above belly button
the instant the front door closed behind his mom he had his jerking shorts completely on the carpet crumpled around his feet, sitting at the computer, porn playing, jerking his lubed dick, eager to ntt over head onto the floor behind him setting a new jizz range score
boners that strongly point forward while standing need a belt instead of jerking shorts
boners that strongly point forward while standing need a belt instead of jerking shorts
by margrette sees January 24, 2013
The Act of squeezing your testicles so hard they turn purple and then yankin your shaft until ejaculation.
Person 1: hey did you know Alex B purp jerks
Person 2: yeah hes such a purp jerker
Alex B: guys please stop I dont do that
Person 2: yeah hes such a purp jerker
Alex B: guys please stop I dont do that
by WillPretzel October 17, 2023
A Northern Swedish tradition, Which involves rubbing Spicy Swedish Herbs onto your genitalia, causing great burning pain, You than proceed to put Lemon Juice into the head with a Catheter, burning the inside of the penis.
Joel was disappointed with how The Law handled his Lasagna being haunted by ghosts, so he decided to partake in a Spicy Jerk.
Man 1: "Christ, I got so sad after losing that basketball game, I decided to do a spicy jerk."
Man 2: "TMI man, Keep that shit to yourself."
Man 1: "Christ, I got so sad after losing that basketball game, I decided to do a spicy jerk."
Man 2: "TMI man, Keep that shit to yourself."
by Kreeper473 January 2, 2019