1. Any given example of female that would otherwise have grown old and died a spinster if it weren't for chemicals, other drugs, booze and just plain old fashioned social charity.
2. Self explanatory in most other definitive uses.
My nephews mother is an iHag... but it really isn't his fault and couldn't possibly be hers if you ask her.
While our lifespan is the number of years we will live, our healthspan is the number of healthy years we will have and our sexspan is is the number of years we will continue to be healthy enough to continue having an active sex life.
A lighthearted reaction upon receiving disappointing news of some sort. Usually something that isn't a particularly a big deal, esp. when it primarily affects someone else - sort of a mild schadenfreude. Sometimes doubled or tripled, and possibly said in a sing-songy voice for added comedic effect to imitate a muted trumpet, which is how the meme originated.