i'm split 

Confused, but because of a cacaphony of competing desires and thoughts; not because of indecision.

Man... i'm split.

i'm split by Mediapuppet8 May 20, 2017

I'm slitting my stomach 

Harakiri, seppuku, belly cutting. It's when you take a samurai sword and carve into the skin and fat of your abdomen and as you feel the pain, reach into the bloody mess and pull out your guts. Most likely you die from a lack of blood. Some more cowardly samurai would get their friend to chop off their head to ease the pain.

My geisha left me, my trainer got shot with arrows, and my bird ran away...I'm slitting my stomach.

I'm a manly samurai--I'm slitting my stomach, and I don't want any assistance as I go on my instant trip to an eternal vacation.

I'm slitting my stomach by Wm. Wallace The Freedom Fighter December 25, 2007