hewlett packard

A once great technology company that probably makes the majority of its money in the enterprise sector while designing and manufacturing inferior-quality consumer-level products with horrifically poor customer support.

A recent example is the wave of HP- and Compaq-branded laptops with wifi and video failures out-of-warranty; HP's only response is to either fix the machine for two-thirds what the customer paid or suggest a replacement...paid for by the customer, of course.
My Hewlett Packard laptop died not two years after I bought it. I'm buying an ASUS next time.
by TheNextBillGates January 15, 2010
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hewlett packard

Hp stands for HOLY papa this laptop's awesome.
Greatest purchase made &
Holy papa this guineas jealous
Anyone who says HP sucks cant AFFORD ONE and are sad they dont have a huge awesome laptop like I do.
Thing works great and you cant judge since you never owned one and cant afford it anyway, stupid idiot
Hewlett Packard
by A to the Izzo October 07, 2006
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hewlett packard

A very good computer company. Unlike what most people say, HP constantly provides what you paided for. Now HP cry babies will come along and yell about how their top of the line system sucks because it ain't so top of the line anymore. Blame the company because you can't spend $50 a month to keep it up-to-date.

Further more, Computer Illiterate people will come along and claim that the machine is making strange noises, or that it is too slow. Guess what... it is called a damn virus you idiots. Spyware Aware and probally half of your porn collection is wormed. Heck, torrent downloads have a 5:1 chance of containing trojans and you probally STILL don't have Alcohol 120%.

The Majority of hardware issues are caused because of your stupidity throwing the laptop accross the room will not make it work better. Also to be noted is that only geeks should be allowed to touch computer hardware... macho men don't have a big enough brain to do more then rip out the wires and smash their graphics card like a monkey.

All in all, HP is both cheaper then dell in all 'real' fields. Sure dell can sell you a do-nothing computer, but HP will sell you a system that works, and is actually worth buying.

Why post this? Because half of you are too ignorant to know how to turn your computer on... let alone take it to the store to get fixed.
Idiot: "Hewlett Packard sucks"
Smart: "Go do the world a favor and shoot yourself."
Idiot: "How?"
Smart: "Here, I'll do it for you"

Idiot: "My hp computer sucks... lets go buy an alienware computer... it looks cooler"

Idiot: "Hey, Hewlett Packard Support... YOU SUCK, MY COMPUTER IS BROKEN AND IT IS ALL YOUR FAULT"
Support: "Did you run a virus scan?"
Idiot: "Uhh"
Support: "How about put in that 'recovery cd' that came with your computer"
Idiot: "Uhh"
Support: "Or do you even have your computer insured?"
Idiot: "Uhh"
Support: "Have a nice day"

Idiot: "Dude, HP sucks, it can't run Black"
Smart: "And how old is your computer"
Idiot: "Eight years... but it runs Doom 1 SOO GOOD"
by STFU Whiners May 07, 2006
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hewlett packard

The makers of overpriced printers and crash happy computer systems.
Duuude, you're getting an HP, Duuuuude, you got rocked!
by Gimli July 15, 2003
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hewlett packard

A computer and computer peripherals company. Although the desktops and laptops can have some serious drawbacks, ther accessories (printers, sanners, and the like) are actually worth the money.
On the computer side problems often arise where certain components start to break. The CD/DVD drive has been a very common occurance. There have been claims of the computer making noise form start-up.
If you must by a HP computer makes sure it is a new one and not refurbished as it will be even worse.
Man: My Hewlett Packard is broken again.
Man 2: And you were expecting what?
by SalixR June 04, 2006
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hewlett packard

A phrase in cockney rhyming slang that denotes furniture which is lacquered. Such a quality is desirable for cocaine users as it makes sniffing less strenuous.
Johnny: that table is hewlett packard
by C Milroy April 28, 2006
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Hewlett Packard

a type of company that likes slowing your computer down with bloatware
guy: dang, stupid hp
friend: why's it stupid?
guy: cause they said the computer i just bought is the best for gaming and yet it can't play a simple flash game.
friend: that sure is stupid of Hewlett Packard
by GeorgieFrank October 06, 2015
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