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you can have me 

"baby, you can have me"
you can have me by Randy_417 August 1, 2007

You must have me mistaken for some other Bitch

A useful phrase when you are ending a relationship with a particularly Triflin Mother Fucker.
TMF: I'm busy working all week. And next week too.
Woman: That shit ain't gonna fly. I'm sorry but you must have me mistaken for some other bitch who will put up with that nonsense. See ya!

You have me. 

"You have me" is such a strong way to let people know that they can trust you.

There's this phrase that means the same thing but has less of an impact on someone's actual feelings, and all it is are 3 words and 8 letters. I love you. "I love you" means that you care about someone so much that you would do almost anything for them. But, you have me insures that they can always trust you.
Girl: "I LOVE YOU"

Guy: "You have me."
You have me. by anonymous January 22, 2023

Hey, cut it out --- you'll have ME doin' it!

Da half-aggravated "yawning is contagious" protest dat you snortingly direct at a nearby fellow human who is sleepily displaying his tonsils.
Most people know dat you are merely joking when you tell them, "Hey, cut it out --- you'll have ME doin' it!", but saying "Nice tonsils" instead is a bit more fun and pleasant.

If It Were A Snake, It Would Have Bit Me 

An idiom most often used in the Southern parts of the United States. Often heard when older men or women are searching in a general area, looking for a misplaced object. They search for a good while, only to find that the object was a few feet from them all the time. They pick it up, brush it off, grin and say:

"If it were a snake, it would have bit me."
This is because in the rural South snakes are a part of life. Everyone has at least one story about the time they were surprised by a rattler or a cottonmouth.

Guy 1: Where are my keys?
Guy 2: They are right in front of you on that table.
Guy 1: If it were a snake, it would have bit me.

that makes me have sex 

A popular comment on memes. It can be used on almost anything but generally means whatever the comment is on makes that person have sex.
That makes me HAVE SEX
More from Urban Dictionary
The phenomenon where adults salivate at children's toys
Every time I walk into the toy aisle, I catch myself kidulting over the latest action figures and LEGO sets!
kidulting by Emotional Cruiser October 12, 2025
Word of the Day on October 4, 2026
British slang for a scientist or technical expert, esp . when the speaker is not certain of the expert’s specific field of study. Not necessarily derogatory, but typically used by persons without a technical background. In the US, the equivalent would be “egghead”, “squint”, or “geek.”

Origin of the word is unknown. Started sometime in World War 2. Given the typical evolution of British slang, could easily have started because what these experts did was confusing or “baffling” to the common person.
According to the boffins downstairs, the murderer used a serrated blade.
Boffin by Agnon February 11, 2023
Word of the Day on October 3, 2026

Pee Calculus

When you have to pee in a movie but don’t want to miss anything, and must do the following mental equation: will the amount I have to pee cause enough discomfort to diminish my attention capacity for the remainder of the movie to an extent which is greater than the amount of the movie I would miss by making a mad dash to the restroom.
I saw Satantango last night, wonderful film but by the 5th hour I had to start doing pee calculus.
Pee Calculus by anorlondo October 1, 2026
Word of the Day on October 2, 2026
Literally "dirty" pronounced with a West Indian accent. Can also have a positive connotation, for example Sean Paul's album title "Dutty Rock".
"The girl is pretty but she corrupt and dutty!"

or, in a positive usage:

"Booya! That freestyle was dutty!"
Dutty by J Hall April 3, 2003
Word of the Day on October 1, 2026
korean word for madam, older woman
Ajumma wait a moment
Ajumma by aintnotinbutnice July 5, 2009
Word of the Day on September 30, 2026

Slop Grenade

When someone uses AI to generate a large document, slide deck, or piece of code/software and tosses it over the fence for you to deal with.
Chad: Hey Brent I sent you the new backend API change to review, it’s only 100 files changed.

Brent: he just tossed me a slop grenade
Slop Grenade by Joe Squid September 28, 2026
Word of the Day on September 29, 2026
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