Hallmark 

A conglomerate constructed entirely of cardstock, glitter, and Keepsake ornaments. Hallmark's main goal is to perpetuate Christmas year-round, so it's four quarters are labeled as follows: Almost Christmas, Christmas, Still Christmas, and Valentine's Day. Among it's many schemes for holiday perpetuation are things such as: three (3) separate keepsake ornament events (the first of which occurs in July), constant, nagging reminders to customers to begin stocking up on cards for Christmas (beginning sometime around August), and the unnecessarily long "post-holiday sale" that runs right up to the beginning of Valentine's Day.

Since Christmas provides such a large part of Hallmark's revenue, it feels the need to begin releasing it's prized Keepsake Ornaments in early July, just as most people are finally beginning to put the horror of the previous holiday behind them. Thus, "Almost Christmas" begins, moving smoothly into "Christmas" sometime around mid-October. "Still Christmas" begins directly after New Years and runs until February 14th and often beyond, so "Still Christmas" and "Valentine's Day" often overlap.

Valentine's Day, which is the lesser of Hallmark's insidiously overdone holidays, fills in the gap between Still Christmas and Almost Christmas nicely while still managing to fill the duel purpose of guilting men into showering the objects of their affections with glittery cards, fluffy teddy bears, and heart-shaped boxes of chocolate.

Woman One: "I'm headed to Hallmark to get some birthday cards. Do you want to come?"

Woman Two: "Nah, I'm not in the mood for Christmas stuff right now."

Woman One: "It's July, I think you're safe."

Woman Two: "Well... alright..."

Sales Associate: *as they walk into the store* "Welcome to Ornament Premiere! All of our new Christmas Keepsake Ornaments have just come out for the year!"

Woman Two: *faints*

Hallmark by taekwondoangel1 July 18, 2009

hallmark 

a subsiduary of Mills & Boon, perpetuating the myth of love in order to create profits from bleeding hearts.

'Here my love, I bought you a hallmark valentines day card'

hallmark by li'l pill pig July 30, 2006

Hallmark 

Hallmark is a place where thick pieces of paper with corny sayings are sold for ridiculous prices. Some are too mushy to be serious, whereas others honestly might provide amusement.

Also, a brand invented by some ugly old man, last name Hall, to help get himself in better with the women by sending her candy and goofy little holiday stuff.

Known for inventing such holidays as Valentine's Day, Administrative Professionals Day, Sweetest Day, Friendship Day, Clergy Day, and many many more.

1) Let's go to Hallmark and buy some over-priced candy.

2)That guy named Hall had no idea what kind of monster he was starting when he made the Hallmark store.

3)Let's change Valentine's Day to "Spend Too Much At Hallmark Day". I mean, they made it, right?

Hallmark by HBA_Mouse March 4, 2009

Hallmark 

Besides being a greeting card company, it also means a male who has no balls. therefore he is way to simpathetic and crys over chick flicks. Enjoys buying stuffed animals and flowers for his girlfriend who has him by his non existent nuts. He listens to his every word as if he thought he could blow a load on it. Hallmark club cards, and "Hallmark" are not that different when you think about it.

Chris: dude, tonight there is an Avril Lavigne concert! i'm going with my girlfriend! i'm going to get her flowers, and candy, its going to be great!
Ben: dude... you're such a god damn Hallmark

Hallmark by some dude October 21, 2004

hallmark movie 

1. A movie shown on television that has the same basic plot as fifty or more other movies on the same network.

2. A movie often on the television behind a man who has just given up on life.

1. If I continue to watch these hallmark movies I will just die.

Person 1: Did you see the new hallmark Christmas movie?
Person 2: Do you mean the same Damn movie as last year?

Person 1: Yeah.

hallmark movie by Gregdslagathor117 April 2, 2016

hallmark movies 

all hallmark movies plots start with a girl and a guy meeting, them falling in love, dating or getting married, and going all kissy kissy muah muah according to my 10 year old brother

“Hallmark movies all have the same plot”

hallmark movies by daddyyoda December 23, 2019

Hallmark Channel

The Disney Channel for middle-aged women.

My mother insisted on watching the Hallmark Channel which was showing a god-awful Christmas movie.

Hallmark Channel by Cerebrate 1138 July 20, 2016