The descriptive act of insulting a family member, friend, or stranger, by displaying personal defense implements in an aggressive fashion, while also drawing maximum attention to your actions.
Daughter (sobbing): "Daddy, I accidentally pooped in my pants when I tried to fart, I'm sorry"
Daddy: (how do I say it's ok that she sharted?) "It's ok honey, you just FOOPED. It happens to a lot of people."