Used to describe behaviour which is particularly petty, childish or vindictive in some way.
You spent two solid days arguing with 14 year olds on an Internet forum over the difference between mummies and zombies. How ludicrously flat-topped of you.
by Ming64 March 28, 2018
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1. Noun. A hairstyle popular in the early 1990s, sported by former Amiga Power journalists until present day. A haircut where the hair is shaved unpleasantly at the sides and combed straight up to form a "flat-top", a perfectly level snooker table smooth top sported above a pinch-face.

2. Adjective, "flat-topped" Obnoxious or idiotic behaviour, noticeably angry but lacking in self awareness or critical thought. Also the act of aggressively barracking one poorly thought out-idea ploughed into the ground along formulaic lines.
That inexplicably angry rant you are indulging in is particularly flat-topped, sir. And questioning my ability to 'understand simple English' is only compressing the flat-top'.
by flat toppo December 02, 2010
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An act committed by a dominant gay male, or a top, whereby he sneaks his hot dog in-between your buns by planking on your back; fully erect.

The flat top is considered to be one of the most daring and skillful planking maneuvers, as well as one of the most demeaning gay sex acts.
Guy 1: "I passed out drunk on the yard last night while taking a piss, and Chris took pictures planking on my back naked. On an unrelated note - Jagermeister really makes your asshole hurt in the morning."

Guy 2: "Dude... I saw the pics on Facebook.... you got Flat Topped. The national sexual assault hotline is 1-800-656-HOPE."
by winningmormon October 28, 2014
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a hairstyle worn by psychobillies, short on the sides with the top styled upwards and trimmed so that it is flat, hence the name 'flat top'.
"cool,cool,cool flat top yeah" lyrics by horrorpops.

My boyfriend Gareth would love a flat top but his hair's too curly lol
by strawberrycherry September 22, 2008
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The act of ejaculating on another mans pillow after having sexual relations with his significant other.
Man: Why is my pillow case hard
Wife: Oh your friend stopped by and said he left you a flat topping.
by 1516forya February 26, 2018
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To stay behind in a foreign country while on a work related trip and abandon all of your responsibilities without saying anything to anyone in order to chase a girl only to come home five weeks later to find you no longer have a job and your cat hates you.
He is not on the plane, did Alex say goodbye to anyone? No, he totally flat topped. Well, I hope she isn't pregnant.
by the juggler November 20, 2013
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