a 58-year-old man trapped in a 13-year-old body
a time traveler
and a badass assassin

go down if you don't understand

(don't take this serious it's a joke for the umbrella academy)
I wanna be a five
He acts like a five
by egg,kid April 4, 2019
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Character of the Umbrella Academy comic by Dark Horse. Small boy with the mind of a 58-year-old man, he was trapped in the ruins of Earth for 45 years (give or take), recruited by The Commission as an assassin, and returned to his deranged family in 2019. Upon his arrival home after what was to his siblings 17 years, he attempts to stop the apocalypse running on coffee, alcohol, and the encouragement of a mannequin. He celebrates with margaritas and contemplation of his future.
“Does anyone else see... little Number Five, or... is that just me?”
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This is what you say when someone says something incorrect or stupid. When you say "no fives" correctly, then you get to grind you finger across the persons neck as hard as you can.
"So, Nixon was a bad democrat, huh?"

"NO FIVES!! Lemme get that neck..."

"Aww man!"
==Action happens==

by Lolarsaur May 25, 2009
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Putting in some money toward the purchase of an item or items. Usually indicates a willingness to contribute.
We're gonna puff puff pass, you got five on it?

I've got five on that pizza.
by Spirit Bear October 28, 2004
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In R/T (radio telephone) parlance, a report on signal strength (1 - 5) and quality (1 - 5).

Hence, "I ready you two and four" means "your signal is weak, but I can hear you clearly".

By inference, "five and five" means "really good" ?

"How's the pizza ?"
"Five and five."

"We dropped into <drinking establishment> - the beer was crap, but the scenery was five and five."
by Eighth of Seven January 8, 2007
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Something you swear on your gang, rather than your mother's grave (such as "on my momma"). Term that people from Da Harbor use.
Guy 1: Man, On the Five that nigga so crazy, goin' at lil' henry like dat!

Guy 2: Real talk!
by Shiznitobangboompow March 12, 2010
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Used to brag that a joint or blunt was large enough that you “got (all) five” fingers on it.
by Fyvehonnit March 23, 2019
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