I thought I fart-muted myself and ripped some ass but then I realized I muted the sound and not my microphone during the Microsoft Teams meeting. I am a failed fart-muter.
by Thunder of Muscle December 16, 2021
The act of contorting your body or grasping the cheek of your ass and pulling it away from the other cheek in order to mute the sound of a fart. This is usually performed while in the bathroom at dinner parties or at the home of someone to which you are on a first date with. The maneuver is also useful while taking a dump and are on the phone with someone particularly if you have been on hold for 30 minutes and you finally get through to a real person, or an over-the-phone interview. The maneuver requires much skill and practice as too much cheek pull can actually amplify the fart sound to a high pitch squeal so loud that the neighbors dog will start barking.
I ate dinner at this girl's house last week. When I went to the bathroom I felt a huge fart coming so I performed a fart mute maneuver.
by heywoodgblowme September 12, 2013