Skip to main content

erotic stories  

I see you sitting there reading this message with your cock in your hand. It's
starting to get hard and a little drop of pre-cum is glistning off the tip. I
can smell your hot man-crotch smell and it makes me wet! The pearly drop of
pre-cum has now started to ooze down the tip of your cock and you've touched it
with your hand as you jack off. I suddenly appear out of thin air between you
and your computer. You are a little shocked but pleased as you take in all of
my beauty. I whisper "relax, let me give you pleasure" into your ear and gently
nibble your neck. Your hand reaches up to my exposed pussy that's wet and hot.
Your finger touches my clit and I gasp in a shudder of extasy.. I'm so wet my
juice is dripping onto your hand as you gently move 2 fingers inside my cunt.
My hand reaches down and touches the next drop of pre-cum that is emerging from
your throbbing dick. MMMMMM I moan as I move away slowly.. I look at you with
your rock hard cock, sitting in your chair.
i read erotic stories all the fucking time
erotic stories by dr.tran February 24, 2008
erotic stories  mug front
Get the erotic stories mug.
See more merch

funiosity 

The art of being peculiar, but in an amusing fashion.
"Wow, look at that dog running on three legs"
- "Yeah, that sure is a funiosity"
funiosity by Supersonic Stevie November 23, 2007
Word of the Day on July 25, 2026
A toe rag was originally a foot wrapping used, since mediaeval times up until the mid-nineteenth century, to protect the foot from chafing by boots or shoes. As these were, quite literally, rags they weren’t usually washed, and so with use they became very smelly until they were thrown away. Because of the similarity in smell, toe rag also became the name applied to dried, salted cod or other things with a strong, unpleasant, fishy smell. It didn’t take that long before the name was applied to someone who was an obnoxious, unpleasant OIC.
1 “Socks! Those aren’t socks you smelly git, they’re toe rags!”
2 “What have you been cooking? Smells like toe rag!”
3 “I can smell ‘er fanny from ‘ere, proper toe rag.”
4 That Heale Malcolm is a right toe rag.
Toe Rag by AKACroatalin November 29, 2016
Word of the Day on July 24, 2026

Eternity leave 

When some resigns or retires from a job, they are on "eternity leave". This can also refer to someone who has passed away, especially someone who worked somewhere for a long time, retired/resigned, then passed away later.
Oh I'm sorry, you didn't know that Kelly is on eternity leave? She resigned and moved to Hawaii!

With regrets I would like to inform you that my boss is officially on eternity leave. I will never see or hear them again. Ever.
Eternity leave by LingDanc803 February 7, 2023
Word of the Day on July 23, 2026
The hypothetical man (often a sinister character who decided not to go to boot camp) that is doing your girlfriend/wife while you are on deployment overseas.
Ain't no use in goin home,
Jody's got your girl and gone.
Ain't no use in goin back,
Jody's got your Cadillac,
Ain't no use in feeling blue,
Jody's took your checkbook too.
jody by Sgt Apan March 31, 2006
Word of the Day on July 22, 2026

girl grip 

The ability girls and women have developed to hold several items at once in one hand. The skill has been developed due to the lack of pockets in women's clothing.
I thought she'd need multiple trips to carry her phone, keys, wallet, and Starbucks to her car since she needed the other hand to open the door, but she used her impressive girl grip to carry everything in one hand.
girl grip by SillyMilly33 July 31, 2023
Word of the Day on July 21, 2026

Condiment home

A term that refers to one persons household hold nothing but ingredients and condiments in the kitchen area
Person A: Hey dude you got some snacks?
Person B: Nah, i live in a fucking condiment home...
Word of the Day on July 20, 2026